Basically girls say that guys find me intimidating, but I think they are just lying. I’m 17 and 5’10 I’m curvy NOT fat a body in between Rhianna and Beyonce, but bigger breasts. I’m pretty, but I’m not going to lie, I’m not stunning or anything.I also dress fashionably with a distinct style. I can understand guys being intimidated after they meet me sort of because I am pretty smart and may also seem kind of arrogant. But people always tell me how funny, friendly and lively I am. But they wouldn’t know this before they talk to me so I don’t understand what about my physical appearance is intimidating.
I know some guys have liked me, but they pretty much told me and still didn’t ask me out. Only older guys and Fresh Africans seem to try to talk to me or when a guy is drunk at a club. I have never had a boyfriend.
Just the other week I went to a sort of social club and this guy was really friendly to everyone and just ignored me. He didn’t even know me! Also people say they can’t imagine me with a guy anyway, what does that mean?
Am I intimidating or is there something wrong with me and why? Why don’t guys like me?
The reality we create in our life is mostly the result of unconscious beliefs and behavior patterns that remain deeply embedded in us. The simple fact that many guys tend to avoid getting close to you, or stay inhibited from approaching you, shows that you are sending out a “vibrational frequency” which seems to repel guys. For a moment, just forget what people say about you, and just focus on what “you” feel inside.
The only way you can identify the unconscious patterns operating in you, that seem to repel guys, is through “introspection”. But it’s really important that you be brutally honest with yourself while you interrogate your “inner space”, else it’s of little use. Here are a few questions that you need to ask yourself and seek answers within. The answers will give you a clue towards determining any unconscious pattern in you that generates a “vibe” which intimidates, or repels, guys.
Find yourself a quite place to contemplate these questions. Be honest with yourself and don’t “manufacture” answers, let your body respond on its own. Just stay silent and observe the feelings, and answers, that your body generates.
Do I feel “girls” are superior to guys – You don’t have to come up with a verbal answer, just let the question sink in and feel your emotional space. Do you detect a subtle energy of “arrogance”, which says that “I” as a girl am superior to those “dumb” guys (or something along these lines). Stay with the question for a while; let it unearth your hidden beliefs. Do you look down upon guys? Do you feel that they are “obnoxious” or kiddish in any way? Do you feel like putting a guy down, or hurting his ego, to prove a point? If you harbor such “antagonistic” views, it’s natural for guys to be intimidated by you. Guys will avoid you if you give off a “superiority” vibe.
Am I willing to fall in “love” – We are talking about love in the traditional sense, the gushy, swelling of the heart, the restless nights, the longing, the promises, the attachment and the vulnerability. Love makes you completely vulnerable to the other person. Do you feel “repulsed” by the idea of falling madly in love? Are you willing to be vulnerable and be completely surrendered in love? Can you contemplate yourself going “puppy eyed” for a guy? The way you describe yourself, you seem like a very “self assured” person, in such a case there is a possibility of avoiding any “feelings” that threatns this image of “assurance” in you. Love can make you feel completely dependent and vulnerable. If you want to be in a relationship, you ought to be open to this vulnerability.
Do I want to be a caring “home maker” – Are you abhorred by the idea of being the “home maker” for your partner or do you long for it? Men love home makers, and the very tendency in a girl to want to be a “home maker” is what brings out her feminine vibe. If you find it “below” yourself to take care of a guy, and make his home, then you are unconsciously harboring “feminist” attitudes within you. Such an attitude will generate an “antagonist” vibe which guys will feel repelled by.
Can I be “submissive” to a guy’s wants – Women are naturally more inclined towards “giving”, and hence are more surrendered, and submissive, in love. Guys are usually the dominant force in the relationship. Do you find this idea for being a submissive “giver” threatening to your self image? Does this idea create anger in you against the gender “bias”? Would you rather that the guy is “submissive” to your presence and you be the dominant force? If there are such inklings in you, it’s indicative that you are nurturing several “feminist” beliefs inside you. Guys are naturally attracted to the “feminine” qualities in a girl, and being a “giver” is one major aspect of the feminine nature.
Have I ever felt deep “attraction” towards a guy – Its one thing to want a guy to talk to you and ask you out, and completely different thing to actually feel “attraction” for this guy. Attraction in the true sense will sweep you away, get your heart thudding, get your blood pumping, get your eyes swooning and get you restless and sleepless. Have you ever felt this way for a guy? If you’ve never felt this “vulnerable” attraction, it could well be because you are too “self assured” to allow yourself to go “gaga gaga” over a guy. Indirectly you will come across as a “cold” lover, and guys are not very fascinated by it.
Do you perceive yourself as a “little girl” or a “grown up”? – Some girls unconsciously become too “mature” for their own good. This maturity can help them safe guard against being exploited but it also becomes a “wall” against experiencing true love. Guys love a “little girl” in their girlfriend; they love the innocence and vivacity that comes from a girl who is not too boxed into her “maturity”. A girl who is naturally in touch with the “child” in her, will come across as being playful, loving and exciting, these are the qualities which most guys look for in a girl. If a girl comes off as being too “mature” or “grown up”, she projects the image of being dominant and controlling, and these are attributes guys detest in a girl.
It’s all about your deep held beliefs. It’s not your physical appearance that offsets a guy, it’s your “vibe”, and what you feel deep within creates that vibe. You may be funny, friendly and lively, but that does not mean that you are transmitting a vibe of a “girl” who wants to fall in love. A lot of “tomboy” girls are very lively and funny, but make for poor relationship material because they are too “self assured” to be vulnerable to the surrender that love requires.
If you want guys to like you, if you really want to be in a relationship, if you want to experience the pain and pleasure of falling in love, if you want to bond with a guy emotionally and be vulnerable enough to make him your life partner, then it’s important that you clear out these inner “ghosts” that are creating a repelling effect. Let your feminine nature flower naturally, it’s all about being tender, giving and open to love.