It was eye contact and deep attraction that led us to a night together but he has a girlfriend which I already knew about. We had a great night together but he has since cooled off as he feels guilty on his girlfriend. I still catch him looking at me and when we now make eye contact he smiles but looks away. I have strong feelings for him but does he feel the same? – Question asked by Theresa
You must understand that guys don’t place “lust” and “love” in the same boat.
For a guy, it’s quite easy to end up in a physical relationship with a girl without feeling any kind of “emotional attraction” or love towards her. Guys don’t need to feel any emotional attraction/connection before they end up in bed with a girl.
As you mentioned, he “cooled” off after that night’s steamy encounter. It simply indicates that he is “tentative” about how to approach you from here on. There is a possibility that he is in love with his girlfriend, and so does not want to lose out on her. But, he definitely has feelings of “physical” attraction towards you, enough to push him to cheat on his girl. So he’s caught in a bit of a limbo here and is taking time to sort things out in his mind.
There is a strong possibility that he will approach you again for “sex”.
You say you have intense feelings for him, and you want to know what he feels. Just remember that for guys “strong feelings” do not equate to love, it’s usually a mixture of lust and passion.
Signs He Is Attracted To You On A Physical Level
So here are a few tips on how to tell if a man has strong feelings for you on a physical/bodily level.
You feel a “sexual” tension in his company
The human body is literally a pool of energy. Our feelings inside emit out like high frequency vibrations outside.
When a guy feels a strong under current of “sexual” attraction towards a girl, he is bound to emit this forceful energy when in the company of this girl. You can sense it quite easily if you are receptive to it.
Just try to get him alone, may be at the parking lot or the pantry in your office, and sense his energy field. Sexual tension almost has a smell to it.
He keeps making “deep” eye contact
Guys love to make eye contact with a girl they are attracted to.
It gives them a high to imagine what the girl is thinking behind those eyes. Moreover, guys are good at judging a girl’s interest level by the intensity of her eye contact (sometimes they get it totally wrong though).
So if this guy keeps making deliberate eye contact with you, it just shows that you are riding on his mind and he has strong (albeit, lustful) feelings for you.
He flirts with you openly
Once a guy is confident of a girl’s interest, he does not mind flirting with her openly and overtly.
A guy who has strong feelings for a girl can’t resist dropping “sexual” innuendos while flirting with her. He will talk about how hot you are looking, how smoky your eyes are or how sexy your hair looks.
Just because a guy flirts with you does not mean that he has strong feelings for you, what’s important is that you judge his “intention” while he flirts with you. Is he being casual about it, or does it feel like there is a purpose behind his words. Be receptive to his tone and voice modulation, it’s a good indication of the sexual tension inside him.
He touches you playfully
Guys are very keen on touching a girl they are strongly attracted to. It almost gives them a sexual kick to touch a girl playfully while flirting with her. If he tries to hold you at your waist while walking with you, if he touches your hand while talking or if places his hand on your shoulder or hip, it shows his unconscious “sexual” pull towards you.
The sexual vibe that you feel in his presence is the surest sign that he has strong feelings for you. You stoke his feelings further by initiating eye contact every now and then, and by flirting back.
What You Should Do
Irrespective of his attraction, the fact remains that he has a girlfriend and he seems unable to restrain himself which is indicative of a serious lack of character.
Even if you were to go out of your way to get him to like you beyond the physical, he might do to you at some point what he is doing to his girlfriend at this moment. Sooner or later when the steam dies down, he will cheat on you as he is cheating on his girlfriend.
The best thing you can do at this moment is to stop encouraging him and to avoid him at all costs. There are plenty of other fishes in the pond and you deserve someone better.