It was eye contact and deep attraction that led us to a night together but he has a girlfriend which I already knew about. We had a great night together but he has since cooled off as he feels guilty on his girlfriend. I still catch him looking at me and when we now make eye contact he smiles but looks away. I have strong feelings for him but does he feel the same? – Question asked by Theresa
You must understand that guys don’t place “sex” and “love” in the same boat. For a guy, it’s quite easy to end up in a sexual relationship with a girl without feeling any kind of “attraction” or love towards her. Guys don’t need to feel any emotional attraction before they end up in bed with a girl. A surge of “lust” usually provokes a guy into having a one night stand or an impulsive “outside relationship” affair.
As you mentioned, he “cooled” off after that night’s steamy encounter. It simply indicates that he is “tentative” about how to approach you from here on. There is a possibility that he is in love with his girlfriend, and so does not want to lose out on her. But, he definitely has feelings of “physical” attraction towards you, enough to push him to cheat on his girl. So he’s caught in a bit of a limbo here and is taking time to sort things out in his mind.
There is a strong possibility that he will approach you again for “sex”. Once a guy ends up cheating on his girlfriend, he does not mind doing it again, for a guy it’s like you sin once and then it does not matter how many more times you sin. So it’s almost a given that he will initiate contact with you again, hoping for another “great” night together.
You say you have intense feelings for him, and you want to know what he feels. Just remember that for guys “strong” feelings do not equate to love, it’s usually a mixture of lust and passion. So here are few tips on how to tell if a man has strong feelings for you.
You feel a “sexual” tension in his company
The human body is literally a pool of energy. Our feelings inside emit out like high frequency vibrations outside. When a guy feels a strong under current of “sexual” attraction towards a girl, he is bound to emit this forceful energy when in the company of this girl. You can sense it quite easily if you are receptive to it. Just try to get him alone, may be at the parking lot or the pantry in your office, and sense his energy field. Sexual tension almost has a smell to it.
He keeps making “deep” eye contact
Guys love to make eye contact with a girl they are attracted to. It gives them a high to imagine what the girl is thinking behind those eyes. Moreover, guys are good at judging a girl’s interest level by the intensity of her eye contact (sometime they get it totally wrong). So if this guy keeps making deliberate eye contact with you, it just shows that you are riding on his mind and he has strong feelings for you.
He flirts with you openly
Once a guy is confident of a girl’s interest, he does not mind flirting with her openly and overtly. A guy who has strong feelings for a girl can’t resist dropping “sexual” innuendos while flirting with her. He will talk about how hot you are looking, how smoky your eyes are or how sexy your hair looks. Just because a guy flirts with you does not mean that he has strong feelings for you, what’s important is that you judge his “intention” while he flirts with you. Is he being casual about it, or does it feel like there is a purpose behind his words. Be receptive to his tone and voice modulation, it’s a good indication of the sexual tension inside him.
He touches you playfully
Guys are very keen on touching a girl they are strongly attracted to. It almost gives them a sexual kick to touch a girl playfully while flirting with her. If he tries to hold you at your waist while walking with you, if he touches your hand while talking or if places his hand on your shoulder or hip, it shows his unconscious “sexual” pull towards you.
The sexual vibe that you feel in his presence is the surest sign that he has strong feelings for you. You can stoke his feelings further by initiating more eye contact every now and then, and finding opportunities to get him alone with you on some pretext or the other.
If you have strong feelings for him, you should initiate contact with him at deeper level. He may be a bit confused right now about whether he should go full fledged into a relationship with you, and desert his girlfriend. Right now he definitely has feelings of “passion” and lust for you, but in order for him to take you seriously these feelings have to go deeper into feelings of love and emotional attraction. The only way this is possible is when you initiate contact, and get close to him beyond just the eye contacts and flirty talks.