Do You Think Certain Personality Traits Are Set in Stone or Do Men Change As They Get Older?


Published on: September 25, 2016

Question asked by Natalie – Do you think certain personality traits are set in stone or do men change as they get older? If a man is very cocky, big headed, arrogant and self centered when he is young is this something that may change as he matures, or is this really who he is?

Hi Natalie,

Everything in this world is prone to change, and men are no different. There have been instances where a totally pig-headed man turned into a more mature and compassionate person when life handled him a few “hard knocks”. Some men become more mature while some go down the drain when they experience tough situations.

Life is a teacher. Some men are extremely hard skinned and it takes a while before they learn to mend their ways for the better. So it takes them more “life time” to change.

Conditioning and genetics have an important role to play in the personality traits of a human being. A man who is conditioned to respond to life with arrogance and cockiness will do so irrespective of his age, unless he goes through some “life changing” experiences that helps dissolve this conditioning.

There is no guarantee though that a positive change will happen in a man’s life time. A young man who is cocky and pig-headed might eventually grow into an old man who is cocky and pig-headed. Change can only happen when some circumstance or experience triggers it. The good news is, as a woman, you have the capacity to be a catalyst for this change in your man.

As a woman, if you are with a man who has a tendency of hurting you, or putting you down with his behavior, you have two options. The first is to love him unconditionally without any expectations, this way you will accept him for the person he is and learn to adjust with his behavior simply because your love for him overrides your frustration with his behavior. The second option is to move away from him for a while till he is ready to understand his faults and makes an attempt at solving them.

Many men genuinely feel bad about hurting their girlfriend, or wife, by their behavior. The only problem is that certain negative behaviors become so hard wired into the mind that it’s happens almost “automatically”, without any conscious control. So if a man is cocky, arrogant or pig-headed, it could well be because of certain unconscious “insecurities” inside him that well up, every now and then, prompting him to defend himself by putting on an “offensive” front.

As a woman you must understand that you have a great power over men. A woman has the capacity to change a man for the better or worse, merely by the way she approaches the relationship. If you understand the power you have to make a change, and consciously will yourself to appreciate this “gift” (that nature bestowed), then you are in a position to make a positive impact on your man’s life.

Patience and “understanding” come naturally to most women. These two elements can heal the worst of negative traits in a man. If you are willing to be “unconditional” in your love and support, you will manage to break through his hard shell of insecurity which prompts him to behave in a negative manner. Some women are unconsciously scared of “unconditional” love because they feel very vulnerable and insecure about being hurt. The truth is that the most beautiful relationships exist when the woman is willing to be unconditional in her love and care; a man automatically changes his negative behavior in the company of such a woman.