How To Tell If A Man Is A Player?

by: Admin
How do you know when a man only wants to have sex with you? How would that man behave towards you; what might that man tell you versus a man who is really interested in a real relationship? In other words, how to tell if a man is a player? – Question asked by Julia

Hi Julia,

Some guys are “players”. Their only motive is to seek sexual pleasure from a girl and ditch her when they no longer find her stimulating enough. These guys, in general, are quite cynical about the very concept of “love” and their only interest is in surface level pleasure. They use sex as a means of adventure, and achievement, without ever connecting with their partner at any emotional level. For a player, a girl is simply a sex object to be enjoyed and done away with.

Guys who are seasoned “players” can be very shrewd and subtle in their tactics. They are very good at hiding their true intentions. Girls usually have a “gut” instinct about players, but some guys are so good at hiding their “player” nature that they can get past the defenses of the most intuitive girl.

A weakness that girls have is that, for them, “attraction” always overrides intuition. So when a girl is attracted to a guy, she usually ignores her intuition. It’s very true that girls get blinded in their attraction. Players know this, and they use it to their advantage. They exhibit “artificial” behavior intended at increasing a girl’s attraction for them; and once she is hooked in her attraction they go for the kill.

So as a girl, how do you know when a man is only interested in having sex with you, or when a man is plainly being a player? There are certain signs that you can watch out for, which can be a helpful indication.

How To Tell If A Man Is A Player?

Here are some signs that indicate that a man is a player:

He is Too Smooth

When a guy is a player, he is adept at striking conversations with girls, and is usually suave in his flirting. Players know that girls are inherently attracted to “studs” who are self-assured and confident, so they usually project a image of being super cool and cocky.

They practice their opening lines, their conversation starters and some “flirty” jokes and punch lines, with professional alacrity. They can “impress” a girl quite easily with their mannerisms, body language and talk. Of course, most of it is completely artificial and a “put on” purely for the purpose of catching a girl’s attention and spiking her attraction.

He Flirts Openly and Boldly

When a guy is a player, his intention is to “capture” as many girls as he can. The only way he’s going to accomplish this is by “flirting” as much as possible with as many girls as possible. He will not lose time when he spots a likely target.

He will usually start off with deliberate eye contacts; you will notice that a player maintains steady eye contact and does not look away when you look back at him. In fact, he will give you a bold “playful” smile and wait for your reaction. If you look inviting, he will start initiating friendly conversation and before long he will have your contact number and may be even a “date”.

Men who are Players are really good at making eye contact. In contrast, most “normal” guys are quite shy about making eye contact with a girl, and would usually look away when the girl meets their eye. Players are bold in their approach, and don’t come across a being shy about making eye contact, smiling or starting a conversation, and flirting. It’s the quickness and boldness of their approach that should tip you off.

He’s a Bit Too “Interesting”

If guy triggers your attraction within a few moments of interaction, there’s a huge possibility that he’s a player who is adept at pushing your buttons. When a guy is only interested in having sex with you, he’s not going to waste time on “non sex” hours. So he will try to up your attraction as quickly as he can. He will project himself in such a manner that he comes across as the most “interesting” guy you’ve ever met. For your own good, you should be cautious when a guy comes across as being too interesting too soon.

He’s Keen on Physical Intimacy

Guys who are players don’t want to waste their time on developing any “emotional” intimacy. The only thing they are interested in is physical intimacy and they go for it as quickly as they can. They will start touching a girl by the first date, and might even try kissing her. By the second date, they usually try to initiate some form of physical intimacy. If they sense that a girl is too reserved or cautious, they usually move on to more interesting prospects. You can almost sense a sexual tension in their voice and body language, when they are with you on a date.

He Shows a Lot of “Fake” Interest in You

A players knows that the easiest way to get a girl “swooning” over him is to give her the “initial” importance. So he praises her, he “listens” to all her opinions and views, he lets her talk and pretends to be really interested in everything she says, he pampers her with attention, and basically he makes her feel like she has found her “prince charming”.

He Triggers “impulsiveness” in You

Girls can get really impulsive when they are blinded in the moment of attraction.

A guy who is a player, knows this weakness in girls. So he will instigate feelings of “sexual” attraction by his mannerisms and then quickly get her to act out the impulse. Basically the players are looking for girls who are “easy”, these are the ones who are impulsive and short-sighted when blinded by attraction. When you are in the throes of attraction it’s easy to act out of impulse and have sex with him, only to realize later that you’ve played for.

It’s actually easy to weed out a player. Just make him wait for sex, and if he starts losing interest you know what his agenda was to start with. If a guy really loves you, he will not mind waiting for sex till it feels right. This is how you know if a man really loves you or just wants to have sex with you.

Just remember that if a guy comes across as being too smooth in his approach, it’s basically because of the practised ease – he’s just playing you like he has played others. The only problem is that as a girl, you can get blinded in your attraction.

This article was in response to the question “how to tell if a man is a player?”. Please feel free to leave your comments below.







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