My Boyfriend Is Sometimes So Sentimental and Acts possessive and Insecure

Published on: September 25, 2016

My new boyfriend is sometimes so sentimental. Every time he keeps saying that I am so perfect for him and feels insecure. He’s afraid that I would leave him for other guys. Even asked me to live with him (Well isn’t it too fast? He’s my new bf okay?). What can I do to make him feel secured? – Lynn

Hi Lynn,

Many guys suffer from the insecurity of being “cheated on” or being dumped by their girlfriend, who makes off with some other guy. Unfortunately, this insecurity is on the rise among the guys in the modern day. Truth be told, men are afraid of being men nowadays, thanks to all the muck that the modern day society has created.

He is asking you to live in with him because he feels insecure, nothing else. He is afraid of you leaving him, because he is not confident about his own personality and nature as a man. He’s just lost touch with his “manliness” and so he is behaving like a “dependent” or “needy” guy. It might just a be phase in his life, if you are fortunate it will pass away. You don’t have to do anything that you intuitively don’t feel like doing; the guy needs to handle his mess on his own, “live in” will not solve his problems of insecurity (though he is bound to feel that way).

Why have guys become insecure?

As a girl, you always want your man to be confident and self-sufficient. Girls usually do lose attraction towards a guy who becomes “needy” for her love and attention. Many guys do that every now and then when they are going through a “rough” patch in their life or when they are going through a stressful life situation; they start holding onto their girl as their refuge quite unconsciously. They forget that girls cannot deal with such “dependence”, girls are naturally wired to be the “dependent” one rather than the “supporter”. Since the primitive ages it has always been the guy’s role to be the “supporter” in the relationship. The modern day guy is just a bit disillusioned because of a lack of proper “male” role models.

It’s natural for you to feel panicky and disturbed by your boyfriend’s “dependence” on you. A girl is never comfortable with any form of dependence from her man, because she starts feeling that she is with a guy who cannot fend for himself and so cannot be a good “provider” later down the line.

Many modern day men are becoming a little “weak willed”, because they find it confusing to deal with the complex world they live in today. Men just don’t know what their role is meant to be in today’s society where women are dominating all the fields that used to be “male” proprietary. In primitive ages, the man was the “provider” the woman was the “home maker” and there was no confusion. Back then a man knew what he had to do, and this clarity gave him his decisiveness, courage and self-esteem.

Men are being chastised if they appear too “manly”. They are being brought up by single mothers without the influence of a “sturdy” father, who they can emulate as their role model. Boys are being taught by “female” teachers who instill feministic values end up confusing a boy about how he should behave. A man ultimately starts losing confidence in his “manliness”. Quite simply, the modern day society is doing a great job of cutting off a man’s balls.

The girls wonder “why is my boyfriend so sentimental”, then answer is simple – he is not in touch with the power of manhood that lies within him. His manliness is dormant, thanks to all the suppression vented out by society. There is a good possibility that your boyfriend had an “over protective” mother or an “unavailable” father as he grew up. Men are not supposed to be “dependent” on a girl, neither for her love nor for her fidelity, a man was always supposed to live his own life, the girl was just along for the ride (and girls like it that way).

Most men have forgotten they are men, they need to be reminded

The modern day “feministic” society, the culture of “geeks”, the lack of role models, sedentary lifestyles and lack of good employment, has left guys feeling completely confused and out of touch with their inner nature. A lion is always a lion at heart, but if he is brought up among sheep he starts eating “grass” and even bleats with them.

Truth be told, as a girl you cannot do much to help the situation. Your boyfriend will have to get in touch with his “manly” nature; the only person who can do this for him is he himself. Men are men inside; some guys have just lost touch with their true nature.

He has to make this change on his own. He has to over come his dependence on a “girl’s” presence in his life. He has to be his own boss. He has to be willing to face life without being “sentimental”, if life’s bitch he has to learn to slap it and move on. He has to learn to take the tough situations in his stride. He has to learn to deal with his emotions and suck it up when needed. He has to learn to be rough and tough. A man has got to be a man if he wants to enjoy his life and indirectly give enjoyment to his girl.

A real man is not dependent on anything or anyone for his happiness. He is his own best friend and loves his power as a man. Men have traditionally been the source of stability in a woman’s life, not the other way round. For a man to be stable, he has to respect himself as a man and live his life according to his principles and standards. The society is trying its best to “emasculate” men; the only way men can survive this is by staying true to their nature in spite of all the resistance. It’s tough for men today, there are just too many challenges.

Men are being asked to express their feelings, to be emotional, to be sentimental, to cry, to be in touch with their “heart” chakra, to be spiritual, to be geeky, to be a pet, to be a “nice” guy, to be servile, to be a “good” boy, to be “gentleman”, to be soft-spoken, to be polished and what not. Basically a man is being asked to give away his manliness. Why is society doing this? Because it has become female dominated to a good extent, and secondly most men have just lost their way somewhere.

It’s not your boyfriend’s fault that he is so insecure and dependent. He’s just been unfortunate to get some really “wrong” conditioning during his upbringing. He can always change, because being man is his true nature. A lion is always a lion inside, even if he thinks he is a sheep.

He should check out books like “How to be an alpha male” by John Alexander and other books that help a man get in touch with his manliness. He should hang out with some “real” men, go to pubs with them and become more attuned to the power he wields as a man. Somehow, he has got to get back in touch with his true nature or else he will never be happy with himself, and he will always be dependent on a “girl’s” presence in his life.