Question asked by Miley – There is a guy who is with me in the english class, I’m really attracted to him but I don’t know if he likes me back or not. We never talked except once I asked him a question and I think he was kinda nervous but I’m not sure; and we once made kinda long eye contact, he wasn’t expecting to see me, but most of the time he looks away when we make eye contact and then looks back. He doesn’t change his act when I show up; sometimes he gives me his back, it really confuses me. He smooths his hair but I don’t know if he always does that or just when I’m arround. He looks down or sideways when we pass each other, and sometimes I feel like he is avoiding me. I think he is a shy guy and I’m shy girl I don’t know what to do, he drives me crazy and I cant stop thinking about him can you please help me. How do shy guys act around a girl they like and how do I approach him?
By your description it’s quite clear that your “love interest” is definitely a shy type guy. The rules of the game change completely when it comes to shy guys. The deal with some shy guys is that they tend to “underestimate” their handsomeness and hence find it difficult to accept that girls can be drop dead attracted to them.
It’s quite clear that he is attracted to you. The fact that he lowers his eyes when he walks past you suggests the strong emotional impact you have on him. Shy guys are very susceptible to strong emotions mostly because they tend to suppress their feelings greatly. He comes across as a “deep” person, who has the capacity for passionate love. No wonder you feel such a magnetic pull towards him. It looks like your “energies” match up, and you could say that it could well be a case of “made for each other” relationship.
You can be rest assured that he is deeply attracted to you. In fact it’s his vibe towards you that makes you want him even more. He has a strong emotional field around him, and he matches your wavelength which explains the spark of attraction which exists in you for him. If fact you already know intuitively that he is attracted to you, may be you are just ignoring your intuition or not believing it.
Even though you are a “shy” girl, it’s up to you to take the initial step so this relationship can start blooming. Most shy guys are just too “underestimating” of themselves to ever take the chance of opening a line of contact with a girl they are attracted to. They fear rejection, they fear disapproval and mostly they fear being let down. So even if you use all the possible signs to let him know that you are attracted to him, he will never take the first step of initiating contact with you.
Shy guys have a deep capacity for love, care and tenderness, and they are usually very devoted to the subject of their affection, but they are pathetic at initiating a relationship. Once they get comfortable with a girl, then they open up with all the love they have been trying to suppress. As a girl your job will be to make him comfortable in your company, make him feel accepted and make him feel your attraction. He will take over from there on.
Tips For Approaching A Shy Guy
So what are some action items that you can take up to initiate relationship with a shy guy you are attracted to? Here’s a small list that you can consider.
Find an excuse to spend at least an hour with him
You will have to hatch a plot to get him to spend at least an hour with you. How you do it will depend on your ingenuity. The reason why it’s necessary to spend an hour is because it allows for ample time for him to start getting comfortable in your space. An interaction of 5,10 or even 30 minutes does not allow room for comfort to develop. If you can accomplish spending an hour with him on some pretext or other, it will work like charm.
Come up with something, may be you can get him to discuss some “class” related issue, you can ask him to tutor you on some subject, you can get him to look at one of your assignments, you can ask him to provide his inputs on a particular topic relating to your class. Anything it takes, just make sure that the two of you spend at least an hour with each other. What you talk about is not important, what’s important is that you have 60 minutes of interaction space between you.
Smile at him every time you see him
If you are shy girl this is not going to be easy, but it’s only going to be tough the first couple of times – after that it will feel natural. Whenever you make eye contact with him, give him your prettiest and most welcoming smile. Nothing melts a male heart more than a girl’s smile. This will accomplish two things, one he will not feel awkward when you catch him looking at you and second he will feel comforted by your warmth towards him. Remember, it’s all about making him feel comfortable so that he starts opening up to you.
Find every small opportunity to make conversation with him
First of all you must understand that he is extremely attracted to you, he’s only shy about opening up with his feelings. So you can take his attraction for granted and move in closer to him. Whenever you see him walking alone or sitting by himself, just go ahead and join him. Start up a small conversation or just give him a warm “hi, how you doing” line.
Get his number and call up
This is something a guy should be doing, but remember we are talking about a “shy” guy here – so the rules of game change. Once you have made the initial acquaintance with the one hour interaction, the smiles and the short conversations, it’s time to get his number. Once you start off calling him up, you are well on your way to a full fledged relationship. You will be surprised at how he opens up once he gets comfortable in your company. It won’t be long before he is the one calling you up. Be sure to talk to him as freely as you can, make him feel like you are his “best” friend and also get him to feel your attraction for you by initiating some “deep” or emotional talk.
Once he gets comfortable talking to you and being in your company, he will open up with his feelings for you. It won’t be long before he asks you out on a date, which will be the start to a fulfilling relationship. The only deal with shy guys is that they need the girl to make first move, after that they are good to take over.
Hope you are now clear on how shy guys act around a girl they like. Here are some more tips on how to approach a shy guy.