Hi, I would like to post a question about a boy in my R.E class. I don’t usually talk to him, but when I do its about useless things. I can’t think about what to say to him or approach him as I don’t think he feels anything for me.
He doesn’t usually talk to any girls and only hangs around boys. I wouldn’t call it ‘shy’ but I’ve heard all he ever does is play on his playstation and online games – none of the hobbies I enjoy much or have an experience of.
I really want him to notice me but I don’t know whether I’ll be a burden to him or if he will like me if I approach him – which I have tried before but I try as much as i can for him to not realize I like him because I’m scared and have issues, I have to at least make sure he feels for me the way I do but I don’t think there’s any sign.
I notice he talks to me the same as any other person. I’m a typical shy girl and I’m quite scared of rejection, right now I’m contemplating on whether its best to not show him I like him or to tell him. I need advice on how to please this guy to get him to like me or how to get his attention, bearing in mind I’m barely in any classes and hang out with completely different people.
Thanks – Mae
I can see you’re very torn about this situation and it’s causing you a lot of anxiety. I know exactly what you need to do and it will ease your mind completely. But first, let me ask you a question.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a crush?
I’m talking about the total reverse of what’s happening now – a guy has a crush on you. Chances are, you paid this guy no attention at all, you barely even knew he existed.
Maybe you’d never spoken to him and if you had, you can’t remember the details. You didn’t need to deliberately walk past him or work hard to get his attention. He probably knew close to nothing about you. In fact, you couldn’t work out how this could happen when you felt you played no part in it. Yet here you were, being told by friends that “Joe” likes you and there he is, making his interest in you very obvious.
My point is, when a guy likes a girl enough, he will make it clear.
If he hasn’t made an effort to talk to you and get your attention or if he hasn’t asked his friends to tell your friends to tell you that he likes you, then that’s all you need to know for now.
I’ve seen girls hanging around guys they like, talking to them constantly, laughing with them, making so much effort to get their attention, only to see them humiliated later on when they have to stand by and watch this same guy run after a girl who was completely ignoring him!
Guys have a “girl radar” and it’s always switched on. When a girl they like walks into the room, he sees her well before she sees him. Every other girl is invisible. If he likes you, he sees you, he knows you exist and he will make it obvious when the time is right.
Until such time though, you need to put him completely out of your mind and start telling yourself some true stories.
Stop telling yourself that you’d be a burden to a guy, that you have issues or that you’re not good enough. The truth is that any guy would be lucky to have you as his girlfriend.
If not him, then it will be someone else who will like you for you and will show you with his actions what a great girl he thinks you are.