How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Just As A Friend, or Wants to be Something More?

Published on: February 25, 2014

Question asked by Casey

How can you tell if a man likes you as just a friend, or wants to be something more?

I’ve liked the same guy for about a year now but have yet to make a move. When we first met he was rather shy; he would always go out of his way to sit/stand near me, but never initiate conversation unless I did first.

I used to catch him staring at me as well.

As we got to know each other better he loosened up. Now he greets me with a warm hug every time we meet and always tries to talk to me. We work together, so I see him every week, but I wouldn’t say he’s a close friend, just very good acquaintances.

He always looks me in the eye, seems ecstatic to see me (he’s even picked me up and twirled me around on occasion), makes jokes with me, invites me to see his band play, etc.

My problem is I can’t tell if his new comfortable attitude around me is due to the fact that he seriously likes me, or just because he is more at ease and wants to be friends. I’ve asked my friends for advice but they are unsure too.

Is there a surefire way to differentiate between a guy just being kind in a friendly manner, or if he wants to date you? Bear in mind that he is somewhat awkward/shy, as I mentioned before.

Hi Casey,

Here are some important points for you to consider:

1. Has he ever asked you if you have a boyfriend?

If he has, it would mean that he is interested in your personal life which would indicate that he might have a love interest. Most guys, if they are attracted to a girl, would immediately start wondering if she has a boyfriend.

2. Does he seem jealous to see you chatting with other guys?

Have there been instances when you could judge that he was being a little “jealous” when you were hanging out with other guys?

Guys are as prone to jealousy as girls. If he is attracted to you he will feel somewhat stirred when other guys try to flirt with you or hang out with you.

If you have not tried this before, just try it once – get him a bit jealous by hanging out with some guy in front of him and see how he reacts to it.

3. Does he discuss other girls with you?

If he wants to be friends with you it would have become very obvious by now. He would be talking to you about his “love” interests, telling you about some girl he met somewhere.

Guys like to discuss about their “girlfriends” with their “girl” friends.

4. Have you guys gone out on a date alone yet?

If not, why not initiate one. There is no point in beating about the bush.

May be his is shy or awkward because he thinks that you might feel “horrified” if he expressed his feelings. So it’s up to you to initiate some action and let him know that you are “interested”.

Just ask him over to a dinner date at your house, or at a restaurant, dress sexy and see how he reacts to you. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

5. Love is a sticky feeling and it shows

If his heart pings for you he will miss you when you are not around, he will blush when you get close to him, he will stammer when you consciously flirt with him.

Try to tune into to his emotional frequency and see if there is a spark in him when you get close to him physically and verbally.

6. Talk deep with him, get over the “surface” level topics and jokes

The only way you will ever find out his emotions for you is by tuning into his emotional space. Get to know him intimately on the emotional level.

7. Most “love” relationships start with friendship

If he looked at you as a friend for a while, that’s no problem – in fact it’s a good thing. What you need to do now is get some fire burning in him.

Dress to kill, wear a sensual perfume, do something sexy with your hair and talk in a slightly “flirty” tone.

You want to do something different and see how he reacts, may be he’s gotten too comfortable with you! Get him out of his shell.

8. By the description you have given it looks like he is “attracted” to you

The problem with shy guys is that they are very inhibited in their expression of love because they don’t want to end up getting hurt or rejected.

The best thing to do would be to throw some hints that you are “interested” in him, that will give him the courage to bare his heart.

It’s totally okay for a girl to initiate the first step in the direction of a relationship, this is especially true if the guy is shy. All you can do is guess unless you confirm, the only way you can confirm is by initiating some action in the direction of intimacy. Don’t waste anymore time, a year is long enough. It’s obvious that you have feelings for him, so what are you waiting for?

  • Mia

    I am pretty much in the same situation. My friend says he wants to be friends for personal reasons I agreed; and says we’ll see in a year. He said if we’re meant to be we’ll be. I have feelings for him actually I want to be with him! but I feel like I might be wasting my time also. He still jokes and says I have certain effects on him but I find it a little confusing at times. What do I do?