Why Does He Avoid Me? Here Are 5 Possible Reasons

Published on: September 25, 2016

Question asked by Sally – I really like this guy and started flirting with him and he seemed to flirt back but then he started to seem to avoid me.

Is there any hope that he is even slightly interested?

Hi Sally,

There’s still a good chance that he is attracted to you, because you mentioned he started flirting with you too.

There is also a possibility that he lost interest after the initial interaction, but there’s no rule that says that attraction can’t be regained.

Possible Reasons Why He Is Avoiding You

Let’s look at some common reasons why a guy starts avoiding a girl he has been flirting with.

1.) He already has a girlfriend

May be he started flirting with you for a while but later his conscience kicked in or he got spotted by his girlfriend, who gave him an ultimatum.

May be he just wants to stay loyal to his girlfriend and so he thought it better to distance himself from you.

There are a few guys who wouldn’t mind flirting, or even getting intimate, with another girl while still having a stable girlfriend, but a good many do stay loyal.

2.) Something you said rubbed him wrong

Some guys are pretty touchy about their opinions and preferences.

If he found you having an “opposite” opinion about something he feels strongly about, that might cause him to start disliking you.

May be you insulted him unintentionally.

Just look back upon your conversations and see if there was any instance where you saw a sudden change in his behavior after you said something. He may be a very sensitive person.

3.) He finds you too “forward”

Guys do get spooked when a girl comes on too strongly. It gives them a feeling that they are being “chased” after and it does put them off.

Strange as it might seem, guys prefer a challenge, just as much as girls do, when it comes to chasing their love interest.

If a girl comes off as too easy, guys tend to lose interest.

If this is the case then you should try ignoring him for a while, or may be make him jealous, just to see his reaction.

4.) Someone warned him off

It’s a possibility that someone told him something negative about you just to create distance between the two of you; possibly another girl who might have love interest in him.

If you think this is a possible scenario, you should try asking him bluntly the reason why he is trying to avoid you.

As you mentioned, he was flirting with you initially and then suddenly started avoiding you, so you have a good reason to ask him why he’s doing so.

5.) He wants to be a challenge

This is highly unlikely but then some guys do read up on “attraction” tips given by many love gurus and end up believing that they should “act” like a challenge for a girl.

If he’s just putting on an act it won’t be long before he exposes his love interest in you.

You will just have to play the waiting game for a while till his patience runs out.

Tips To Instigate Feelings Of Love

Here are a few tips on what you can do to instigate feelings of love in this guy:

1.) Get friendly with him instead of flirting

May be the fact that you started flirting with him worked against you.

Try relating to him as a friend first and avoid exposing your feelings for him so overtly. Get to know him better and let him get to know you as person.

There are many guys who like girls to be modest. Flirting too overtly can be a put off for such guys.

2.) Get him to chase you

Don’t come off as someone who has fallen head over heels in love with him. Keep it cool and let him play the “chaser”.

Get him interested by instigating attraction in him by dressing pretty and wearing a sexy hair style or make up.

Once you trigger feelings of attraction in him just play it patient and let him make the advances.

3.) If he continues to avoid you, just drop it

There is no use chasing a guy who does not respond to you. It’s not only a waste of time but you will come off as being a push over.

Try to initiate communication but if he continues avoiding you just lay off him. May be he will come after you once he sees this change in your attitude.

A final word..

It’s important to realize that guys are usually the “chasers” and girls are the “choosers”. Guys like it that way too, instead of the other way of round.

Allow the guy to come after you, and if he does not then just forget about him because it won’t work out anyway.

  • Bill W.

    How about he’s scared of being accused of rape, sexual assault, forking up all of his money on someone who is just going to dump him, or will extort him on pregnancy whether its his or not?
    Teen boys see this, and its spreading.


    They see their family members getting burned by women, and their friends getting burned by girls. And they want no part of it.
    Call it petty, paranoid, overreaction, or numerically insignificant,
    but you can’t deny its happening.

  • Bethany Highley

    Actually, he could be avoiding for very good reasons;
    One, you turn him on alot, maybe even give him erections by just walking in the door, so he gets embarrassed and tries to avoid you so you don’t notice; two, you make him terribly nervous and self conscious, and three, he’s very shy and afraid of rejection by showing his affection for you.
    In fact, I have a friend at my youth group who is difficult to read at times because his body language varies constantly in a confusing way, but when I first met him he was new at our youth group and sat alone with no friends.
    I immediately thought he was adorable and mustered the courage to be the first to talk with him, and once I said hi he choked, and looking me up and down, obviously checking me out. Lol
    He made my face burn and I hoped he didn’t notice so I continued to introduce myself.
    We talked for a while and he would occasionally look into my eyes, but he liked to stare ahead of him; seeming a little nervous….
    But when our eyes met a little too long its like we would both get lost until one of us would blink and look away.
    At one point when we happened to be lost in each other’s eyes my friends from our youth worship band were shouting my name trying to tell me it was time for worship.
    Me, feeling like I was melting inside, heard nothing over his voice and capturing eyes until I heard their voices in the distance.
    I believe I blushed hard once I realized my friends were witnessing me being lost in the new guy’s eyes.
    Once I got over to them, they immediately asked questions about who the hotie was that I was talking to, making me blush even more. Lol
    After youth group, he was saying good bye to me once his ride came but misjudged the distance between him and the door and ran right into it. XD Then he blushed and said to me, “I am so incredibly smart.”. It was the cutest thing I’d ever seen! 😊
    As we hung out more at church and youth group, he seemed to avoid me more and more. He could talk perfectly fine with all the other girls, making eye contact and even flirting with them, but when it came to me its like his demeanor would totally change.
    If I would try to touch him playfully he would tense up, blush and smile awkwardly, but other times its like he was annoyed or didn’t want to talk to me. This confused me greatly, but I kept my eyes open to see that he would glance my way often if I wasn’t looking and turn away if I noticed.
    I remember one time me and him were just hanging out bowling together at a youth event, but he was acting so nervous that he kept shaking his head and said ‘I’m sorry, its just I can’t talk straight right now, I’m sorry…”. And just walked off, leaving me clueless….
    I talked with him later that night once he came back. But inside my head I was like ” What the heck dude???”
    I tried more and more to talk with him, but he always seemed to act like he just didn’t want to, so eventually I gave up and stopped talking to him unless he talked to me.
    I stopped going to church and youth group for several long months once my life was getting crazier and crazier, but once things started to get better I decided to go back.
    The only thing was that in that time period of me being gone, I slimmed down a lot and my hips and boobs got wider and bigger, my libido that went pretty silent after the first years of puberty was now back but ten times stronger, so I was feeling extremely horny ALL the time EVERY DAY! I couldn’t sit or stand without my gentals burning and my panties feeling soaked! So this increase in libido made me apprehensive to go back to youth group because every guy there likes me, and my body was literally putting out sexy vibes saying, “I am so ready and fertile, give it to me now!”
    But I ended up going anyway and came to find that I was not the only one who looked older and more sexually aroused…
    It was almost everyone!
    Everyone seemed super excited to see me which made me confused because I often felt unnoticed, but what struck me the most was the cute guy I was talking about earlier, named Ethan, lit up when he saw me which he never did….
    He still avoided eye contact with me when we glanced at each other or spoke, but he started to look at me more but differently…
    He would occasionally look at me very sleepy like with almost a hunger in his eyes that lit me on fire even though I already was. Lol
    I noticed his behavior was still rather the same around me, but I had never noticed how sleepy he always looked and seemed to act like when I was around him even when I first met him.
    Then it hit me! He had given me the “bedroom eyes” eyes once, before I had stopped going to youth, but I had no idea what it meant. It majorly turned me on, but at the same weirded me out since he was always avoiding me. But once I realized what it meant when he looked at me that way, I thought I must turn him on a lot if he acts like this anytime I’m around! Like that time he said he couldn’t talk straight and walked off, I was probably giving him an erection or making him terribly nervous so he got embarrassed and ran away. I even asked him if I bothered him in any way, but he always said no. But I could have been coming on too strong all the time at first, which I think had to do with it as well. But once I started avoiding him as well, its like he became more attracted to me or something. I knew he already was attracted to me, but I think I scared him off too much at first as well as him being nervous around me, so I gave him some space to see how he would react. Once I did and we both started getting older, more mature, more attractive and probably hornier, he seemed to be getting more open with me.
    I never realized his body language until now, and understand now why he acts so sleepy or just weird whenever I talk to him.
    This made me laugh at the thought of him avoiding me because I make him erect all the time or something, but then I felt curious as to what he really thinks about when I step into the room now???
    I could be wrong about his feelings, but even though he acts like he’s not really interested, his eyes and body language are a dead give away every time.
    I think he tries to play it cool and I can tell I intimidate him, I mean why else would he shoot me doe eyes, glances, stare at my lips when we talk, or check me out subtly if he really doesn’t like me???
    I believe that he’s just really shy and hasn’t mustered enough courage to chase me yet now that I’ve kept my distance and waited for him to make a move.
    He’s almost 17 and I’m almost 18, so things are continuing to get more and more interesting between us. Lol
    He may also be avoiding me if he’s just confused about his feelings or mine, maybe embarrassed about what he thinks about when I’m around, or maybe I really do annoy him but he just finds me attractive.
    Body language is often pretty obvious with guys, but you can’t know if you’ve misjudged anything until he makes his feelings clear with you.
    Guys often pretend their not into you to not creep you out, same goes with guys who erect anytime their easily turned on by someone they like.
    I mean us girls have it easy, we can get really wet and feel a hard and burning tension down there if turned on and unless a guy sticks his hand down there, they won’t notice. But for most guys, if they really like you, erections come once they see your face. Lol
    Remember that its easier for most guys to get turned on(get erections) than girls because they are more visual and tend to have higher and stronger libidos.
    Erections I’m sure can be very embarrassing for most guys because they can’t control it. It just happens as soon as they’re turned or at random without any stimulation.
    I hear most guys avoid their crushes for this main reason. Lol, they’re afraid of rejection from you if you notice it. I mean just because he got an erection doesn’t mean he was even thinking or wanting sex with you, it just means you must really excite him or it happened at random.

  • Phoenix King Ozai

    Nah Truth is yall probably pissed dude off lol

  • Jeannine Renee Arnold

    Look, I’ve been in relationship for over 3 years with a guy that’s been hurt repeatedly. He’s a bit of a loner and actually prefers to be alone. I have communicated that I need his time and attention on a regular basis, not sporadically like he’s done in the past.
    He will say he will see me tomorrow and I asked him are you sure and he reassured me he will yet never shows.
    Then he will come stay with me a week or two then pull the same thing.
    How do I get him to get on a stable schedule?
    He tells me he loves me but he just isn’t ready for live in or marriage. Which is fine.
    Stable relations is all I’ve asked for.
    How do I get him to see my side without being pushy or seeming desperate?
    Should I just completely walk away from him in hopes he chases me again or simply cut him lose and move on?