Why Does He Avoid Me?

Question asked by Sally - I really like this guy and started flirting with him and he seemed to flirt back but then he started to seem to avoid me. Is there any hope that he is even slightly interested?


Hi Sally,

There’s still a good chance that he is attracted to you, because you mentioned he started flirting with you too. There is also a possibility that he lost interest after the initial interaction, but there’s no rule that says that attraction can’t be regained.

Possible Reasons Why He Is Avoiding You

Let’s look at some common reasons why a guy starts avoiding a girl he has been flirting with.

He already has a girlfriend

May be he started flirting with you for a while but later his conscience kicked in or he got spotted by his girlfriend, who gave him an ultimatum. May be he just wants to stay loyal to his girlfriend and so he thought it better distance himself from you. There are a lot of guys who wouldn’t mind flirting, or even getting intimate, with another girl while still having a stable girlfriend, but a good many do stay loyal.

Something you said rubbed him wrong

Some guys are pretty touchy about their opinions and preferences. If he found you having an “opposite” opinion about something he feels strongly about, that might cause him to start disliking you. May be you insulted him unintentionally; just look back upon your conversations and see if you there was any instance where you saw a sudden change in his behavior after you said something. He may be a very sensitive person.

He finds you too “forward”

Guys do get spooked when a girl comes on too strongly. It gives them a feeling that they are being “chased” after and it does put them off. Strange as it might seem, guys prefer a challenge, just as much as girls do, when it comes to chasing their love interest. If a girl comes off as too easy, guys tend to lose interest. If this is the case then you should try ignoring him for a while, or may be make him jealous, just to see his reaction.

Someone warned him off

It’s a possibility that someone told him something negative about you just to create distance between the two of you; possibly another girl who might have love interest in him. If you think this is a possible scenario, you should try asking him bluntly the reason why he is trying to avoid you. As you mentioned, he was flirting with you initially and then suddenly started avoiding you, so you have a good reason to ask him why he’s doing so.

He wants to be a challenge

This is highly unlikely but then some guys do read up on “attraction” tips given by many love gurus and end up believing that they should “act” like a challenge for a girl. If he’s just putting on an act it won’t be long before he exposes his love interest in you. You will just have to play the waiting game for a while till his patience runs out.

Tips To Instigate Feelings Of Love

Here are a few tips on what you can do to instigate feelings of love in this guy:

Get friendly with him instead of flirting

May be the fact that you started flirting with him worked against you. Try relating to him as a friend first and avoid exposing your feelings for him so overtly. Get to know him better and let him get to know you as person. There are many guys who like girls to be modest. Flirting too overtly can be a put off for such guys.

Get him to chase you

Don’t come off as someone who has fallen head over heels in love with him. Keep it cool and let him play the “chaser”. Get him interested by instigating attraction in him by dressing pretty and wearing a sexy hair style or make up. Once you trigger feelings of attraction in him just play it patient and let him make the advances.

If he continues to avoid you, just drop it

There is no use chasing a guy who does not respond to you. It’s not only a waste of time but you will come off as being a push over. Try to initiate communication but if he continues avoiding you just lay off him. May be he will come after you once he sees this change in your attitude.

It’s important to realize that guys are usually the “chasers” and girls are the “choosers”. Guys like it that way too, instead of the other way of round. Allow the guy to come after you, and if he does not then just forget about him because it won’t work out anyway.