How Long Should My Boyfriend and I Wait to Have Sex?


Published on: September 25, 2016

Question asked by Traelyn – How long should my boyfriend and I wait to have sex? He says he is in love with me and I am completely in love with him too, but would it be safe for us to share that experience? Would it be wrong to have sex if we both trust each other and want to?

Hi Traelyn,

There are many couples who avoid having sex until marriage especially in the east. In the west, most couples, who have been dating for a while, once they get close they get physically intimate. So whether you want to allow sex in the relationship would totally depend on your mindset or conditioning.

Physical intimacy takes a relationship to a different level, now you connect with each other beyond just the words. Sex can be the natural outcome of the love you feel for each other; it’s just an expression of the desire to get as close to each other as possible. So as long as you don’t have any mental hang-ups about it there is nothing “unsafe” about getting physically intimate especially when you are love with each other.

If you are virgin and you want to lose your virginity to a guy you know will be your life partner, then you need to ask yourself if you totally trust your boyfriend to be committed to you. Get in touch with your intuition and find out what you feel deeply about the relationship. I am sure you are aware that many guys enter into a relationship purely for sex, and once they’ve gotten what they want they just move on to “greener” pastures.
This can make a girl feel exploited and used, leading to a lot of hurt and suffering.

Give yourself as much time as you want. There is no hurry. You don’t have to allow for sex if you are not ready yet. A guy would of course want to get physical as soon as possible, but the girl would need to take a call based on how comfortable she feels about it. Many girls consent to sex only when they are certain about the guy’s love and sincerity. There is no way to be sure of a guy’s commitment and sincerity beyond trusting your own inner intuition.

If you trust him and you feel that you want to give him the pleasure of your physical intimacy, then there is no need to think twice about it. It’s true that sex deepens a close relationship because now you feel so much more intimate with each other, physically and emotionally.