Does He Like Me? How Do I Find Out?

There is this guy in my office who is senior to me and so it's pretty obvious that he cannot talk to me very directly. But he kind of keeps a note on me, and kind of gives more preferences to me. Appreciates my work and I have noticed him staring at me when I am busy with some other things. I feel he kinda likes me but he also manages to behave as if I am just another gal. He is a scorpian. So is it so that he likes me? How can I find out? - Question asked by Molly


Hi Molly,

You say, that this guy is your senior at the office, so obviously the situation is a bit tricky. Professionalism demands that he does not act like a “Romeo” in the office; moreover he is bound to shy away from expressing his interest for the fear your reaction. An office is not a very healthy environment for a guy to be expressing his feelings, because the girl can interpret it as “sexual” harassment – this becomes truer when he is a senior in the office.

So you can be sure that he will not be “approaching” you with his feelings, unless he gets desperate enough to stop thinking professionally. The fact that he is your senior, means that other employees will infer “favoritism” when they realize that you are his “love interest”. This can get him into a lot of trouble. So even if he is really attracted to you, he will not want to make it “known”. As you said he’s a “scorpio”, which means he is “level headed” and will not do anything impulsively.

Tips To Find Out If He Likes You

So what’s the solution, how do you find out if this guy likes you, or is in love with you? Here are a few tips:

Get a little “personal” with him

There is no harm in getting to know your “boss” at a personal level, as long as he is not a grouch about it. If he likes you, he will not mind talking to you at a personal level. Of course, you will have to initiate it. Start off by talking to him in a friendly manner, and ask him about his family or his hobbies. Get to know him as a human being, instead of thinking of him as a “senior”. Don’t be too overt about it, and approach it with subtlety.

Get in tune with his vibe

When he’s talking to you, try to get in tune with his inner vibe. Girls are pretty good at judging when a guy is “attracted” to them; that’s because girls are naturally endowed with a powerful “gut” instinct. Are his conversations mechanical and professional, or do you sense a longing on his part to share his time with you? You can judge his interest by the tone of his voice.

Check out his body language

Some subtle body language that guys depict, when they are in the presence of a girl they are attracted to, are - touching up their hair unconsciously, standing erect, to their full height, showing their build and stature, tilting their eye brows, basically trying to “look” good. If you notice him, making an effort with his body language, when he’s talking to you, it’s a good indication of his attraction for you.

Does he give you that “special” smile

Usually the smile is a give away. We reserve our special smiles for special people. Each guy has a “flirty” smile that he displays to a girl he’s interested in. Do you notice a tint of boyishness and playfulness when he smiles at you?

Give him a hint that he can call you

You have to be a little subtle about this, after all you don’t want him to get any wrong ideas. The best thing to do would be to mention casually, “I have to be going now, I would love to continue talking about this, is it okay if I call you in the evening?” He will obviously say yes. So call him up, and chat up for while and then before you hang up say something like “I really enjoyed talking to you this way, hope we can do this again sometime”. Most guys would initiate a call, within the next few days, if they have a “love interest”. Basically, you are making it clear to him that you are “harmless” and that you won’t take his actions in the wrong sense.

Make him feel comfortable around you

Since he is your boss, he will want to maintain a certain “etiquette” around you because he needs to look “professional”. It’s up to you to make him feel comfortable in your company by letting him know that you will not take it wrong if he gets “personal” with you. The best thing is to behave friendly and open with him. Once he sees your openness he will be willing to express himself more freely.

Office “romances” can get risky and you need to be really subtle about it. You can do your reputation a lot of harm if your boss misunderstands your advances and takes you to be “manipulative”. So get to know him as a person, be friendly with him, and open up some “personal” conversations every now and then, and see how it goes from there. If he’s interested in you, he is more likely to express it when he knows that you are “harmless”.