I went through the question “Why Do Guys Not Like Me?” and I realised that even I have a similar problem. I read your response and it seems very true. I think I have this “Superiority Attitude” towards guys. Actually I have been subjected to this kind of atmosphere at home. My mother kind of has that attitude, so I think that may have transferred to me as well. Can you please guide me on how I can overcome it? What should I do to avoid it?
Sitcoms, talk shows and cinemas. The result is that a good portion of the young girls grow up with a subtle hatred towards “men”, as they are seen as the “oppressors” of women.
Men are also projected as being dumb, stone hearted, gullible or weak, in many movies and sitcoms, with the intention of appealing to their women audience. A mother who has a “feminist” attitude will inculcate it in her girl child, who in turn will grow up with a feeling of contempt towards guys. Such a girl would usually end up in a “hollow” relationship, where she would be clueless about her role and position.
Guys detest girls who have “feminist” attitudes in them. Girls who try to “put down” guys usually don’t realize that they are cutting off from their “feminine” side, and being unnatural. The result is that they usually never end with a “proper” guy. The rise of “lesbianism” in America is a good example of what a feminist attitude can do to a girl’s mindset towards men.
As a girl it’s natural for you to feel the need for a man in your life. Your chances of attracting a “true blue” man increases as you increase your “feminine” vibe. The more feminine you are, the more “manly” your man will be (it’s a natural thing). Here are a few tips to drop “feminist” conditioning, and replace it with more feminine qualities.
Stop seeing men as “oppressors” of woman kind – Nature instilled men and women with different qualities. Men are designed to be the “dominant” force in a relationship, they are the “keepers” or protectors (you can see the natural order of things in an animal kingdom). Women we endowed qualities that help her be a “nurturer”, a home maker and a mother. So women are wired to be “giving” in nature.
Men have to be dominant for the relationship to be balanced. In the absence of a dominant male, the woman is usually confused about her roles and responsibilities. Such a household is usually in chaos. The prevalence of “feminist” attitudes have made many men meek and “non dominant”, the result is for everyone to see – more divorces, more hostile kids, more unsatisfactory marriages, more unhappy women and more lonely men. Men are dominant by nature, and a woman is “giving” by nature, that’s the natural order of things.
Get in touch with your “primitive” urge – We may have evolved into a modern society, but our primitive instincts are present in our genes. Societal conditioning can make these instincts go “dormant”. But these primitive instincts are our “natural” instincts, it’s important that we don’t lose touch with them for the sake of our survival.
Girls have a primal instinct towards seeking a “protector” and a provider. In modern day society, there may not be a need for the type protection that primitive society demanded, but this instinct can help guide you towards the “right” man. As a girl, it’s natural for you to feel vulnerable (even if you deny it). Only the presence of a strong force of a man can help alleviate this feeling of vulnerability, and make you more complete and secure. So don’t shy away from feeling “vulnerable”, it’s not a weakness but a “primitive” feminine quality endowed by nature to help her search for a “manly” protector.
Observe your natural reaction to “dominant” men – Whenever you are in the presence of a dominant male, just observe your internal feelings. It’s natural for a girl to feel “submissive” in the presence of such a manly force. And yes, this “submissiveness” makes her feel more feminine. This is what triggers attraction. The more submissive you feel towards a man, the more attracted you will be to him. Girls have no idea why they feel helplessly attracted to certain men, what they don’t realize is that these men trigger “submissiveness” in her.
So as a girl you “want” to feel submissive; there is nothing wrong with it. It’s most natural. You want to “give in” to a man completely, that’s the primal instinct. Don’t suppress this natural tendency with “feminist” ideas; don’t become arrogant or aggressive towards men in the hope of escaping from your “feminine” feelings.
Be curious about men – Instead of labeling men are “stone headed”, sex mongers or brutes, try to get an “open” perspective on what men really are. Yes men have high sex drives, yes men can be very pig headed at times, yes men can act like brutes, yes men can come across as being “egoistic” but deep down none of this is really “wrong”. This is what men are, these difference add flavor and spice to a relationship. Just imagine if men became similar to women, how boring would relationships be?
Instead of despising men for their difference, get curious about them. Try to learn more about men. Find out why they behave the way they behave. Get in tune with their manly vibe, and be open to their approach.
Be understanding towards men – You will be prize catch, when a man realizes how understanding and tolerant you are towards his behavior. Try to look at a man playfully, instead of being critical. Only a man has the capacity to “complete” a woman, in the way she wants. You can help the man stay “manly” when you are willing to be understanding of his manly ways.
Be loving to the core – Drop all your critical mannerism, drop your ego and get in touch with the source of feminine love in you. That’s the most beautiful aspect of any woman, her feminine nature of loving, caring and giving. It’s sad to see women try to “block” these qualities for the fear of appearing vulnerable. When you block these natural instincts you just come across as an “artificial” person.
Indulge in “feminine” hobbies – Girls are naturally good at “organizing” and creative expression. These are qualities of a good home maker. As a girl, you can cultivate an active interest in learning the art of cooking, home decoration and hand crafts. These hobbies will encourage your feminine instincts to flower generously.
In conclusion, be willing to be open to your feminine nature, be willing to be vulnerable. Be light hearted, vivacious and loving. It’s a man’s job to give you the security, love and sense of well-being that you need, and it’s your job to be the source of unconditional support and love in his life. Before you get the “right” man, you have to be the “right” woman.