Question asked by Lynn – I met this guy 2 years ago and we ever liked each other. He’s 4 years older than me. Few weeks ago we found each other again, then we went dating. But several days later, I found out he was dating another younger girl. Then I gave him cold shoulder and avoided meeting him for several days. Later he admitted his fault and also revealed he did so because of loneliness. I forgave him while still in worry. Next day, he told me that he refused to talk to other girls when I wasn’t around. I was impressed. However he was known to be a cheater. No matter how often he says how much he loves me, I’m still in doubt. Does he really love me or is his love fake? Can I trust him?
You caught him dating a younger girl, and his excuse was that he did that because he was feeling “lonely”. So he is in a relationship with you but he felt lonely. If a guy feels lonely in a relationship, he is bound to look for options with other girls. What you need to ask yourself is why did he feel lonely while in a relationship with you?
What you need to ask yourself is whether your relationship is strong enough. In a deep relationship a guy would not feel “lonely” or seek the companionship of another girl while having a stable girlfriend, unless he has a playboy streak in him. If he is a playboy then you can’t ever trust his commitment, but if he cheated on you because he felt “lonely” or “dissatisfied”, then there is a need to work on your relationship.
He cheated on you, that’s a fact. You won’t be able to trust him easily from here on, that’s for sure. Once a trust is broken it’s difficult to bond it back again. So you are in for a rough patch in your relationship. Another important question you need to ask yourself again is – how much do you love him? If he means a lot to you, then it’s worth it to give this relationship another chance. You may get cheated again, but that’s a risk worth taking if you have strong feelings for him.
Is his love fake? Well, let’s just say that it’s not strong enough yet. He does not share a deep emotional bond with you as yet, or else he would not have cheated on you. The fault could be yours also, may be you are not being “fully” there for him or may be you need to put more effort into this relationship. Both the partners are responsible for building a deep emotional bond, which is the foundation for a long lasting relationship.
The way forward from here is for you to make a reality check on how willing are you to give your relationship a second chance. If you really love him, it’s definitely worth the effort. If you are going into a relationship, always go 100% and don’t hold back. If you treat him with “distrust”, your relationship will never work out. You must understand that you are giving him a second chance because of your love for him, and it’s your personal decision.
In conclusion, if you give him another chance and he cheats on you again, it will be very painful for you but you will know that’s it definitely over. So get in touch with your intuition and make the decision on whether you want to give him a second chance or not. If he looks sincere, and if you love him, then it’s worth taking this chance. Just remember to forget the past, and start afresh. If you hold onto the past you will not be able to build a deep bond going forward.