It Has Been 3 Weeks And He Hasn’t Called Or Texted – Should I Give Up?

Published on: April 29, 2017

Question by Donna:

Hi, I’ve been knowing and involved with this guy for almost 7 years. We’ve been on and off majority of the time but we’ve always managed to come back to each other.

However this time it feels different. Like he no longer wants me a part of his life.

I’ve asked him if he’d like a break or to see other people, and he said, ‘no’, but doesn’t call or text me anymore.

We haven’t been intimate since Valentine’s Day and all he said was his head was all over the place but at 31 years old what could be so bad that you can’t work through it?

I’m 24 so I guess I don’t understand but I’ve tried a countless number of times to resolve the issue. He won’t tell me he just says he’s good and he won’t visit me anymore(my car is in the shop so I can’t visit him right now) and we haven’t gone out on a date in ages.

I’m discouraged because I thought we were doing good then all of a sudden he withdrew from me.

It’s only been about 2-3 weeks of him not communicating, about 2 months since I’ve seen him, and I just want to know whether to give up or wait it out? Could this just be an excuse?

Hi Donna,

I think the term for what’s happened here is “ghosting”.

For no apparent reason, he has ceased all communication with you. It’s one of the most painful experiences for anyone to go through. You feel like everything is fine, you’re in love with him and suddenly, he disappears.

Donna, everything wasn’t fine in this relationship and I would love to see you be with someone who adores you and would never let you go.

The real issue with your relationship

The alarm bells rang for me the moment I read that you’ve been on and off for 7 years. If you’re only 24 now, so that means you’ve been seeing him since you were 17 and he was 24.

You were both very young when you first started seeing each other so I can understand there may have come a time where either or both of you would agree that you would like to see other people and experience life as a single before you settled down with someone.

The issue I have with “on and off” is this: A man who is in love with you and sees you as the woman of his dreams would never be satisfied with on-again-off-again. He would be so afraid of someone else sweeping you off your feet, he would have proposed well before now!

When a man disappears like he has, he is telling you something loud and clear: You are not his dream girl.

You need to hold your head high and move on. I would suggest that you never contact him again. It’s over. It’s more than likely that he is seeing someone else. It’s definite that he doesn’t think very highly of you anymore. Don’t seek “closure” – it’s not real. Don’t pine for him! You can do so much better.

You need to pick yourself up

The best way to pick yourself up is to get your hair and nails done, buy a hot new dress and get some knock-out online dating photos taken ASAP. Put your profile up and start dating others now.

There is a man out there looking for you. He’s looking for the woman to spend the rest of his life with. While you’re wasting time thinking about this guy who cares so little for you, you are delaying your happiness with the man of your dreams.

A man speaks more clearly with his actions than his words. Listen to him. He moved on over two months ago. Now it’s your time to move on too.

And remember how lucky any man would be to have you.

Answer by Lynda Love.

Lynda Love is Australia’s Number 1 Dating and Relationship Coach for Women. Happily married for three years to a high-profile athlete, Lynda achieves incredible results in changing the lives of women from all over the world who have been lost in the wilderness of the dating jungle, or stuck in unhappy relationships, by giving them the skills and encouragement they need to find and keep their own prince charming. Lynda also teaches women how to navigate stumbling blocks and get back the loving feeling in their relationship. Learn more about Lynda by visiting her website