Why is My Boyfriend So Insecure?

Not all of us are self-confident, in truth a majority of us have hidden insecurities and fears that rob us of our self-esteem and confidence. Men are just as prone to insecurities as women. The reasons and causes may be different but the inherent feeling of incompleteness and lack is prevalent in most men.

Of course there are varying degrees of insecurity and lack of confidence. Some guys are very confident in themselves while some harbor a great degree of insecurity. Itís important to remember that "insecurity" is not an inbuilt character trait but just a "surface level" mind conditioning that got created in the due course of life.

If your boyfriend acts insecure you may feel irritated or "turned off" by his behavior and this is quite natural. Most of us tend to feel irritated or angry when in the company of someone who behaves in a fearful or needy manner. But how you deal with someoneís insecurities is of essence, instead of reacting with irritation or anger if you can show empathy and care it can make a huge difference to your relationship.

Why Is He Insecure?

First itís essential to understand the common reasons why guys act insecure.

He may have had a difficult childhood

According to most psychologists men are more prone to developing negative personality traits when brought up in a violent family. If your boyfriend is acting insecure you can have a sort of "counseling" session with him and get to know if he had a troublesome childhood. This way it will be easier for you to empathize with his behavior and even change it with time.

He feels he does not deserve your love

Some guys are born "under-estimators". They always short-sell themselves and feel that they donít deserve the good things in life. So if you are pretty, lively and have a great personality, he may start feeling insecure about whether he really deserves an amazing girl like you. It might seem totally silly to you but it might be very serious for him. It helps to reassure him that you love him as he is and for what he is.

He is prone to negative thinking

Some guys are phobia prone by nature and fear the worst in every circumstance. This tendency robs of them of their happiness and yet they live with this mental structure almost unconsciously. Because of his negative thinking nature he is bound to misinterpret and misunderstand some of your actions. He may feel insulted by things you canít even imagine. So itís highly important for you to be open and communicative, try to clear up any doubts or negative perceptions that he may be carrying in his mind whenever you sense it.

He has been let down before

A past break up can leave a guy crippled emotionally especially if he is of a "sensitive" nature. Some guys find it difficult to overcome the fact that they got "cheated" and tend to look at their present relationship in the same light of distrust. He may be afraid that you would leave him or cheat on him, this would prevent him from opening up to you completely. Communication is the key here, let him know your true feelings for him. Develop a deep emotional bond so that it helps him build trust in you.

Itís important to come out of preset notions. Girls generally tend to start distancing themselves from guys who have certain insecurities or who act in a "less" confident manner. But this is a very immature response in most cases. All it requires is a little unconditional love and care for any insecurity to evaporate. You have the opportunity to make a difference to a guyís life, in turn you will get to be the most special person in his life.