Why Does My Husband Look at Other Women and Denies It?

by: Admin

In any relationship there is bound to be a sense of possessiveness. It is natural for jealousy to arise as result of this tendency to want to possess, or take complete ownership, of the person we are in relationship with.

Many women complain that their husband or boyfriend has this annoying habit of staring at, or checking out, other women even when he is in her company. This can be annoying and can lead to a sense of feeling inferior or you might also start doubting the loyalty of your husband.

Ignorance is not always bliss. Knowledge of male behavior can help you understand them better which in turn will allow you some peace of mind. So let us find out why your husband looks at other women and then later denies it.

Why Does My Husband Stare At Other Women?

These are the reasons why your husband looks at other women and denies it when you interrogate him.

It’s Human Nature

It is part of human nature to look at something or someone we find attractive. And that holds true for women as well. This in no way means that your husband does not find you attractive. After all, he fell in love with you and married you, didn’t he?

Another point to note is that the male brain is wired to be visual because men have been hunters since the beginning of time. The primitive man was expected to hunt for a living and his primary weapon was his vision or eye sight. This is why, the brain of a man is stimulated by images much more than the brain of a woman.

If there is anything visually interesting in the vicinity of his vision, he will look – this behavior is wired in him subconsciously. So if a woman comes in the range of his vision and she has attractive looks about her, then your husband is bound to have a quick glace at her. Again, this does not mean he does not love you or finds you less attractive.

Why Does He Deny It?

Just because something comes naturally does not mean that men are okay with it. Most men do feel guilty about checking out other women when they are already in a committed relationship.

If you find him checking out another woman and ask him about it, he will deny it point blank. For one, he did it subconsciously and secondly he knows that it will hurt you if he accepts that he was checking out another woman. The safer route of course is to deny and that’s what they do.

What is the solution?

Having said all this, there is no denying the fact that it hurts when you catch your partner checking out other women. Especially if it is more than just a glance. These feelings are not exclusive to women either. There are many guys out there who feel let down when they see their girlfriend or partner checking out other guys. In addition, there are even some guys who feel insecure when they spot other guys checking out his girl.

Blatant staring versus a glace: A glace as mentioned above is a mere subconscious reaction. If that’s all he ever does, you are over-reacting. But if the glace turns into staring then you have something to worry about.

Blatant starting, making/maintaining eye contact over and over and other such behaviors are certainly unacceptable. This is indicative of a lack of maturity and self control on his part. This also indicates that he has very low empathy and does not give you the respect you deserve.

The best way to deal with this situation is to have an honest (non-violent) conversation with him. Refrain from using the language of blame as that would cause him to shut down.

Example:I do not want to make you feel bad, but I want to express a concern that I have been having which has caused me a great deal of hurt.

A statement like this will put him in a receptive state and he will be ready for what is to follow. You can then express your honest feelings and end with a note asking for his help to resolve the issue.

Example:Even though you deny it, I still feel this way and I would love it if you could help me sort this out.

A statement like that will force him to think deeper about the issue as now you are asking for his help to sort the matter out.

We hope this answers why your husband looks at other women and denies it when asked and what you can do to remedy the situation. As mentioned earlier, if it is just a glace, it helps to take this behavior playfully instead of getting serious about it. Try checking out a few men and get him jealous instead.

  • Sonya

    Men can chose to put their wife’s feelings before their need to fulfill their “instincts”. If they love their wife, they will at least only look once not 2,3,4,or five times. Please be honest. After one or two times you have seen what you need to anymore than that and it’s lust.

  • Margaret

    Looking once or maybe a second look, but not staring and following her with his eyes. That is rude and disrespectful to his wife. A man should love and respect his wife as well. If he is truly in love with her, no other woman will matter to him. Maybe more women should act like men and see how they will like it.

  • Sara

    I agree with the above two comments. Just because “it’s natural” should not be used as an excuse to not control it; also a quick look is one thing but head twisting, or following with the eyes is leading to lust. I’m pretty sure husbands would find it disrespectful if they regularly found their wives doing these things and then denying it.

  • Peaches

    I think it is disrespectful when your man is looking at another woman and says he is not and that you are paranoid and jealous. But then you try to dress like the women that he is always looking at so that may be he will notice you but he does not like and you try to wear make up and he tells you, you look ok but I like it better when you don’t wear make up. You look better natural. He don’t want other men to look at me but he looks at other woman? It is so confusing. I want to make him happy so he won’t lust over other woman but nothing I do gets a positive reaction out of him. And to look one time is normal. But to stare is not. Especially when I am right there. And then request that I don’t wear shorts or shirts that show my cleavage. I don’t really want to be provocative for other people or anything, I just feel stuck what does he want? 🙁

  • Lynn

    Obviously noticing how attractive someone is, is normal. Staring at someone else while your partner is speaking and you tune them out or turning to get a better look is just being a loser. I’m sick of people making excuses for their partners. If your partner is blatantly checking someone else out, you need to look for a new partner and dump the cad. I know it sounds harsh, but that kind of person is the person who eventually cheats.

    • Sue

      Lynn, I believe you are right! If a man cannot or will not control himself when he’s with his wife, at some point when she’s not around, he’s going to take his ogling a few steps further. I completely get glancing at an attractive woman, but what I don’t get is when he’s so busy checking out a woman he doesn’t hear me or see me watching him. It makes me sick to my stomach. I know it is only a matter of time before he finds himself alone, with time on his hands and he seeks out the hunny that he’s eyed while he’s been with me.