Our innate nature is the result of our conditioning as well as genetics.
In other words what we feel at a deep level cannot really change much. Sensitivity is one area of our nature which becomes most evident in our relationships.
If you are with a man who is highly sensitive it’s a good thing, but it also requires a tad bit more of understanding and “sensitivity” on your part.
How we treat people reflects our state of maturity. It’s easy to be callous towards others and disregard them for their short comings, but it requires a depth of heart to actually touch people with your warmth and acceptance.
We are human and none of us is perfect in any way, so why do we feel the need to judge anyone?
If you are with a highly sensitive boyfriend or husband you will have noticed that they need to be handled with more understanding and love than someone with a “balanced” sensitivity. On the upside sensitive men can make for great partners because they will be very devoted to you once they find solace in your company.
Tips To Deal With A Sensitive Man
Here are few tips on how to be an ideal partner for highly sensitive men:
1.) Be the extrovert in your relationship
It’s quite common for sensitive men to be slightly on the reserved side especially when it comes to opening up with their emotions and feelings.
So you will need to make up for this lack by being the one to initiate more communication in your relationship.
2.) Sensitive men tend to ‘clam up’ when hurt
This is like a dual edged sword – highly sensitive men get hurt quickly and then get into their shell or avoid talking about it.
So you won’t even know if you actually did something to hurt them.
The best way to judge if your boyfriend or husband is hurt is to look out for some anger or dullness in their voice when they talk to you. It would be up to you to initiate a truce.
3.) Be willing to apologize if only to make him feel better
You might unconsciously behave in a manner that might hurt him, and this can get a little frequent because of his high sensitivity.
You may find it a little “unreasonable” that he should get hurt for no reason, but the fact stays that he is hurt.
Remember that he is sensitive and that’s his innate nature. The best thing is that a simple apology like, “sorry, did not mean to hurt you intentionally” is all it takes to get things sorted out.
4.) Be patient
There are times when you might feel a little irritated by his sensitivity.
It’s important to be patient during these times and just remind yourself of all the things you love about him, this keeps you from making things worse by spewing your anger.
Patience and understanding are the keys to any successful relationship, a sensitive person might warrant more of it.
5.) Allow for a few eccentricities
Highly sensitive people are bound to project their sensitivity in some manner in certain aspects of their life.
They might have a deep love for animals or pets, they might believe in volunteering for service, they might be deeply attached to their work or certain principles like honesty.
Of course this is just a part of their personality but certain aspects might look a little “extreme” to you and even work into your relationship.
The best way to deal with it is to allow them their space.
6.) Be aware of what causes him to shut down
Sensitive people often carry deep seated wounds that are yet to be healed. If you unknowingly step on his wounds, he will feel hurt and offended. Often times, you wouldn’t even know what you did.
For example, he probably hates being teased in a certain way because of how it made him feel as a kid when his friends teased him that way. Your teasing was innocent but it triggered that same level of hurt back in him and hence he felt offended and angry.
The best way to resolve this situation is to get him to open up to you completely. And that can only happen if he trusts you completely.
To generate that trust, you need to be completely supportive and accepting of him as noted in the point below.
7.) Be a source of support in his life
If you are going to be with a highly sensitive man, you will have to learn to be a source of support for him rather than someone who is constantly trying to find flaws in him and change him.
Be a source of support and encouragement in his life.
Be that partner with whom he feels completely at home. With whom he feels completely accepted. With whom he can be completely vulnerable. Who will not judge him like others do and who understands him and accepts him with all his flaws.
Once he finds such a partner in you, he will open up his deepest wounds to you and you can be a source of healing in his life.
8.) Be a good listener
If you want to make a success of your relationship it’s important that you be a good listener.
Of course sensitive men are good at listening too but they also need a partner who is willing to be a patient listener.
It can hurt him if he finds you disinterested in what he is saying.
9.) Avoid arguments
Frankly, it’s a good rule in life per se to keep away from arguments. No one wins an argument so why indulge in it.
It’s quite common for highly sensitive men to hold certain views about the world some of which you may not agree with. It’s best to not argue with their view point.
You may feel as if you are trying to make them understand but it never works that way. Most sensitive people just get offended if you counter their views.
10.) Be the fun element in the relationship
All of us ultimately just want to be happy. If it’s in your capacity to bring joy and cheer into someone’s life it’s a gift. In fact deep within us, we all have this capacity it’s just that we are little frugal about it.
Highly sensitive people are usually a little fearful of opening up to joy because they are afraid of facing the pain of losing the source of their happiness.
So if you are with a sensitive guy just be his beacon of happiness and let him know that you will always be there for him.
We all have certain gaps in our life and we look towards our relationships to fulfill them.
The beauty of any relationship lies in the unconditional acceptance and understanding of each other’s nature and personality. True love cannot blossom in the presence of resentment or complaining.
Instead of wanting people to change, be the harbinger of love and you will be surprised how easily it gets reciprocated.