How To Deal With A Highly Sensitive Boyfriend?

Author: Admin

Our innate nature is the result of our conditioning as well as genetics.

In other words what we feel at a deep level cannot really change much. Sensitivity is one area of our nature which becomes most evident in our relationships.

If you are with a man who is highly sensitive it’s a good thing, but it also requires a tad bit more of understanding and “sensitivity” on your part.

How we treat people reflects our state of maturity. It’s easy to be callous towards others and disregard them for their short comings, but it requires a depth of heart to actually touch people with your warmth and acceptance.

We are human and none of us is perfect in any way, so why do we feel the need to judge anyone?

If you are with a highly sensitive boyfriend or husband you will have noticed that they need to be handled with more understanding and love than someone with a “balanced” sensitivity. On the upside sensitive men can make for great partners because they will be very devoted to you once they find solace in your company.

Tips To Deal With A Sensitive Man

Here are few tips on how to be an ideal partner for highly sensitive men:

1.) Be the extrovert in your relationship

It’s quite common for sensitive men to be slightly on the reserved side especially when it comes to opening up with their emotions and feelings.

So you will need to make up for this lack by being the one to initiate more communication in your relationship.

2.) Sensitive men tend to ‘clam up’ when hurt

This is like a dual edged sword – highly sensitive men get hurt quickly and then get into their shell or avoid talking about it.

So you won’t even know if you actually did something to hurt them.

The best way to judge if your boyfriend or husband is hurt is to look out for some anger or dullness in their voice when they talk to you. It would be up to you to initiate a truce.

3.) Be willing to apologize if only to make him feel better

You might unconsciously behave in a manner that might hurt him, and this can get a little frequent because of his high sensitivity.

You may find it a little “unreasonable” that he should get hurt for no reason, but the fact stays that he is hurt.

Remember that he is sensitive and that’s his innate nature. The best thing is that a simple apology like, “sorry, did not mean to hurt you intentionally” is all it takes to get things sorted out.

4.) Be patient

There are times when you might feel a little irritated by his sensitivity.

It’s important to be patient during these times and just remind yourself of all the things you love about him, this keeps you from making things worse by spewing your anger.

Patience and understanding are the keys to any successful relationship, a sensitive person might warrant more of it.

5.) Allow for a few eccentricities

Highly sensitive people are bound to project their sensitivity in some manner in certain aspects of their life.

They might have a deep love for animals or pets, they might believe in volunteering for service, they might be deeply attached to their work or certain principles like honesty.

Of course this is just a part of their personality but certain aspects might look a little “extreme” to you and even work into your relationship.

The best way to deal with it is to allow them their space.

6.) Be aware of what causes him to shut down

Sensitive people often carry deep seated wounds that are yet to be healed. If you unknowingly step on his wounds, he will feel hurt and offended. Often times, you wouldn’t even know what you did.

For example, he probably hates being teased in a certain way because of how it made him feel as a kid when his friends teased him that way. Your teasing was innocent but it triggered that same level of hurt back in him and hence he felt offended and angry.

The best way to resolve this situation is to get him to open up to you completely. And that can only happen if he trusts you completely.

To generate that trust, you need to be completely supportive and accepting of him as noted in the point below.

7.) Be a source of support in his life

If you are going to be with a highly sensitive man, you will have to learn to be a source of support for him rather than someone who is constantly trying to find flaws in him and change him.

Be a source of support and encouragement in his life.

Be that partner with whom he feels completely at home. With whom he feels completely accepted. With whom he can be completely vulnerable. Who will not judge him like others do and who understands him and accepts him with all his flaws.

Once he finds such a partner in you, he will open up his deepest wounds to you and you can be a source of healing in his life.

8.) Be a good listener

If you want to make a success of your relationship it’s important that you be a good listener.

Of course sensitive men are good at listening too but they also need a partner who is willing to be a patient listener.

It can hurt him if he finds you disinterested in what he is saying.

9.) Avoid arguments

Frankly, it’s a good rule in life per se to keep away from arguments. No one wins an argument so why indulge in it.

It’s quite common for highly sensitive men to hold certain views about the world some of which you may not agree with. It’s best to not argue with their view point.

You may feel as if you are trying to make them understand but it never works that way. Most sensitive people just get offended if you counter their views.

10.) Be the fun element in the relationship

All of us ultimately just want to be happy. If it’s in your capacity to bring joy and cheer into someone’s life it’s a gift. In fact deep within us, we all have this capacity it’s just that we are little frugal about it.

Highly sensitive people are usually a little fearful of opening up to joy because they are afraid of facing the pain of losing the source of their happiness.

So if you are with a sensitive guy just be his beacon of happiness and let him know that you will always be there for him.

In conclusion

We all have certain gaps in our life and we look towards our relationships to fulfill them.

The beauty of any relationship lies in the unconditional acceptance and understanding of each other’s nature and personality. True love cannot blossom in the presence of resentment or complaining.

Instead of wanting people to change, be the harbinger of love and you will be surprised how easily it gets reciprocated.

  • Navya

    I went through the tips which are completely true. I am amazed and even shocked to read this piece of information. It advised me a lot. I thank God that if I haven’t read this then I would have ruined his and my life as I was not able to understand him. Though I cooperated with him a lot still the problem was there in severe form. But now I have understood that I have to be more caring for him as he is very sensitive.

    • Liquid_Grit

      Please don’t accept responsibility for another person’s happiness.

  • Patty Hines

    This is so true. I know a man who is very sensitive. He like me to be happy and cheerful, this brings out the best in him. If you are not patient, then don’t get involved with a sensitive guy. If you want someone you can be dependent on, he is not the one for you. But, if you treat this type of man with respect and admiration, building him up, then they will give you a lot of love. You have to be strong within yourself, know who you are and what you want. Otherwise, he will drive you crazy! Sensitive guys also seem to be a little shy, so at times you have to take the lead, but they don’t want you to be overbearing and controlling either. Remember, even though they are sensitive, they still think like a man.

    • Lol Li

      I don’t think it’s about being patient. It’s about being mindful.

      • Ann Nonymous

        this is spot on. I have learned a lot from being with my awesome, loving, sensitive bf. – It has made me be more aware of the need to be impeccable with my word, when I’m communicating with everyone, not just him. I am more positive and if what I am thinking of saying really does no good at all (and possibly harm), I let it go and move on. I have matured a lot, and YES it is worth it. High maintenance sometimes, challenging sometimes, but always worth it… 🙂

  • Bianca

    This advice was spot on. I had an arguement recently with my very sensitive fiance and it was about how I rudely answered my phone half way through a conversation he was having with me about an item in a shop. It sounds trivial but I suppose from his point of view, if that happened to me, I did think it was rude too. All he wanted me to do was listen to him and apologize for hurting him (even though I did think it was unreasonable for him to be hurt by it). However the fact is, he was hurt and I should have just apologized like the advice mentions and all would have been ok. Now it has gone out of hand and hasn’t spoken to me since last night. Anyway the point of my story is that this advice is very true and very helpful and I think I should stick it up on my fridge. 🙂

  • Tania

    My boyfriend is a combination. We are both over-sensitive and switch roles. Sometimes I am dependent and sometimes he is. The only thing that irritates me is not being able to play-fight because I don’t know how he is going to react. After getting out of the shower today he was stirring me up while I was brushing my teeth so I splashed him with cold water and he threw a tantrum like a little kid.

    But sometimes he will laugh and play back. I never know what to expect. I’d still rather be with him than someone who was cheating on me like my exes were. It’s just something I’ll have to get used to I guess.

    • Aa

      Yes, my boyfriend is also like that. So unpredictable. I do a certain thing just for fun, sometimes he’s okay about it and sometimes he’s not.

      And There are certain small issues that I would like to discuss to him but I would rather not tell him and forget about it because of him being sensitive and he might get mad. Sometimes he is ok to talk deep discussions and sometimes not. Sometimes he is expressive and sometimes not.

  • been there

    Avoid this guy. High maintenance and so not worth it.

  • Ann

    I like the advice and it was insightful but being in this sort of relationship, it is a lot of work and incredibly draining. Yes, all relationships require work but it honestly gets to point where you wonder if this is the type of relationship issue (or issues that arise from a sensitive partner) that one could deal with for the rest of your life. I only think it’s fair for women to read this to realize that this is how it’s always going to be and to take a serious look at what your life will always entail being with a sensitive man, it’s not going to change after time, and I myself genuinely wonder if this is something that is right for me.

    • Lol Li

      It is incredibly challenging. In a way, the overly sensitive nature seems so unnatural. I feel as if I’m walking on eggshells and don’t know what to say or what not to say due to the fragile ego and insecurities. A small argument morphs out of control. It gets to the point when it’s hard to be yourself. I don’t know if this is something I could live with for the rest of my life.

  • Joel E

    I am one of those highly sensitive guys and yes, it ruined my last relationship.

    The worst part is, I know I feel to much, but I can not control my feelings. Been called emo, gay and drama queen.
    So hard to explain that I can not control my own feelings.

    • Liquid_Grit

      My husband is the same. He just started going to counseling. So am I. Everyone can make improvements for their own happiness. He is starting to see that his childhood was the root of this because his parents repeatedly destroyed his self esteem. Apparently it can be fixed.

    • Jennifer R.

      “I can not control my own feelings.”
      Total cop-out dude. Anyone can be the master of their own heart if they know how. You probably doesn’t know how. It’s not CAN’T, but WON’T… yet. Seek therapy to acquire the tools needed to manage your emotions. It CAN be done and it WILL make a world of difference in your life. I know–because I used to be the same way. I used to think the way you do. Those were miserable times. You don’t have to be superman. You don’t have to change overnight. You don’t have to ‘suck it up’–but you CAN take one manageable baby step at a time. The first is to ask for help.

  • Sha

    I have been with my husband for 14yrs and he is far more sensitive than i am. It is coming to the point of too many arguments that start with everyday communications and struggles that marriage couples go through…. but conversations get so thrown off when you have to address every sensitive issue along the way, you truly lose track of the bigger picture/problem! The constant reassuring and patience grows thin after many years of it. Especially when you were not raised with men with this type of personality. Sometimes i wonder how we’ve made it through as many years of this as we have! His many tears over what i consider grown up talks can just become too much sometime! You think as long as their happy it will change them but it wont! He gets frustrated with himself but that doesn’t change the reality of communication! Good Luck

  • KellyD

    I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. I recently have come to learn about HSP because my 7 year old way diagnoses as one. My husband and I are always on the verge of failure because we can not communicate. He does not cry, or show emotion in general like typical HSP are described but fits most other traits. I’m struggling very much with the idea of living this life for 50+ more years. Especially with the amount of energy I must invest each day into my HSC. (And extremely opposite other 2 kids). I’m drained, tired, and over it. I love him and I keep leaning on God for strength but I’m struggling.

    • Liquid_Grit

      I’m with you on that. My husband is this way and feels like being sucked dry to fill a black hole of misery that can never be filled. It seems like my husband is making progress as he’s finally seeing a counselor and realizing he is responsible for his own happiness and self esteem.

      • Klijha “Bubblegirly24” Chamber

        It’s exhausting utterly exhusting

  • Mya

    This article is a joke.

  • These things suggest one person is a winner and the other is a loser. Just give him space and try to occupy your time with something other than him. Do something for you. Don’t do it to try to get him to open up. Genuinely do something nice for yourself by giving space to your bf and keep in mind introverts need more alone time.

  • Liquid_Grit

    This entire list is BS. Having been married to an overly sensitive man for twelve years I can tell you that this stuff does not work. They are working through childhood issues and they will use you to reenact whatever made them this way no matter how you act. They will expect everyone else to fold themselves into pretzels to accommodate them (without ever letting you know what bothers them) but they will still find something to feel hurt over. And they are NOT nice people who just have their feelings easily hurt. They will hide their constant hurt feelings so well you will marry them and then they will passive aggressively sabotage your life because anger doesn’t go away when you stuff it. They are too cowardly to be assertive. You will be punished for things their parents siblings or schoolmates did. You will be dealing with them in good faith and they will be raining ruin down on your head. Being highly sensitive in the way the author is talking about is a good sign you will never be seen, loved or cared about by this person. You will never be a priority and in fact will eventually be seen as an enemy once they realize you can’t save them from their self inflicted misery. You can give your whole heart and they will destroy you. Run now. Just run.

    • Erin

      I honestly must agree with you. Personally I struggle trying to be happy with a drug addicted overly sensitive man who is beyond selfish….I don’t have time to be his mom, friend, lover and punching bag with a smile I might add—insert “stepford wife”. If I was blowing speed up my nose life would look like unicorns and rainbows too. Man up and own up…your past is over and don’t hide who you are then marry someone and use them to fill your cup while you pour theirs out!!! Ugggg…..all you become if you follow this letter is an unbalanced woman!!! I believe in God and the Bible and I am not a proverbs 31 wife sorry….tired of the emotional abuse!!!

    • Jennifer R.

      THIS x a million!!!!
      This list should be titled, “How to enable an emotional toddler’s dysfunction while completely forfeiting your own identity, needs, and dignity”

      This list horrifies and disgusts me–a healthy relationship is about good communication and mutual understanding, support, respect, and give and take…. not about one partner living to play therapist, mommy, enabler, and doormat to the other.

    • Klijha “Bubblegirly24” Chamber

      Oh! My goodness Thank You!!! What kind of blow off article is this a bunch of covert narcissism at it’s best!! It’s a blaring a call to action to stay and be abused by a horrible person!!! Horrible!

  • cliff edghill

    I read alot of those pegging us HSP / Empathy as hard to please cry babies. to me the problem lies in the woman and their choices you fall in love with a SIMPLE man you will get a super sensitive judgmental dirt bag. highly educated confident street smart sexy women dont have these problems with True HSP / Empathy. take your inherited collective memories of you ancestors throw in some lack of love and or traumatic experience. unwillingness to improve ones self beyond holding a job. combined with lack of education and understanding of complex dynamics lack of seeking professional help and not understanding therapy….. no emotional intelligence and understanding of ones self you just have a ignorant man who acts out and will emotionally and or physically please dont confuse the two Martin Luther king and ghandi princess Diana are all considered HSPs

    the sensitive they are talking about has to do with light tactile. too much observation a flight nervous response and over firing neurons. envision yourself walking about day to day as if your literally standing in the middle of a circus ring. the whole circus is performing at the same time all around you .people animals display how they feel and you absorb it depending on your personality type Carl Jung you will react differently. you can analyze emotions in detail. and will either mirror empathize or sympathize there are no alternatives.

    20% of the worlds population is HSP and EMPathic and males are no more than 13 percent of that small group. also Stars

    • cliff edghill

      Ironically surveys in behaivor science just true empath men making amazing fathers lol

  • Robin Mc Bride

    Ladies. I think most of you have this all wrong. I am an HSP, and this is my take.
    Firstly, I am not perfect, I definitely have my ups and downs, and for me one of my life challenges is my emotional side. It’s effected my life, my relationships, my works etc…
    But here’s a big relationship. None of you or anyone else is perfect, and trust me all of you have got shortcomings, some more challenging than others.
    The main point is life is not black & white. Is is mostly millions of shades of grey.
    Whether you’re black, white or red, whether your male, female, gay or straight, whether you’re wealthy or poor, whether you’re sensitive and emotional or not, … one can NOT generalize and put people in boxes. Just cause you’ve had a specific bad experience with an HSP male (or female) does not mean all are this way. What about all the bad relationships you’ve had with non-HSP? What about yourselves … what is your part in it? Are you maybe a little too insensitive by nature? Maybe a very selfish self-absorbed type, maybe an HSP yourself (but it’s more acceptable for you because you’re a woman), maybe … just maybe, the issues you are having with the HSP you are with goes beyond the person being HSP?

    My point is life and people are not all the same, no matter how much you’ll like to simplify your problems and just put everyone or thing that makes life a challenge for you, in a box, so we don’t have to deal with true issues.

    Yes sure, I have no doubt, HSP men AND women are definitely challenging relationship, especially if you are not sensitive yourself, or maybe you are, … but is there are many other factors that come into this, many people who are HSP that do not deserve this harsh insensitive judgements that I have read here today.
    It’s ok if you feel you don’t want to be in a relationship with a HSP … each to their own, … but if someone is being rude to you, if someone is making your life unbearable, … just maybe it’s not about him/her being HSP … but maybe it’s something else added to the mix … whether bad childhood (any empathy here maybe? it could have been you), maybe … just maybe he/she might be HSP but ALSO be selfish, insensitive to others, and just not a very nice person by nature. NOTHING to do with the fact that he is HSP … anyone getting this?


    Goodness what a relief to find im not alone. Pushing 4 years now with a highly sensitive ‘soul mate’. Walking on egg shells has become my way of living. Struggle imensely to communicate with him. Somehow he manages to always turn things around so i look like the guilty party. Always trying to please him and make things easy for him. In return? One way very lonely relationship. Any of you experience on top of this that they are Control freaks? Hes been divorced twice and blames them offcourse. Last wive cheated on him so on top of everything else hes has trust issues. He’s ‘excuse’ for being sensitive is because he has a very high EQ….??

    • h4rr4r

      Get him a therapist and get yourself a life.

  • Jennifer R.


    • Klijha “Bubblegirly24” Chamber

      Who wrote this stuff!!!