How To Deal With A Highly Sensitive Boyfriend?

by: Admin

Our innate nature is the result of our conditioning as well as genetics. In other words what we at a deep level cannot really change much. Sensitivity is one area of our nature which becomes most evident in our relationships. If you are with a man who is highly sensitive it’s a good thing, but it also requires a tad bit more of understanding and “sensitivity” on your part.

How we treat people reflects our state of maturity. It’s easy to be callous towards others and disregard them for their short comings, but it requires a depth of heart to actually touch people with your warmth and acceptance. We are human and none of us is perfect in any way, so why do we feel the need to judge anyone?

If you are with a highly sensitive boyfriend or husband you will have noticed that they need to be handled with more understanding and love than someone with a “balanced” sensitivity. On the upside sensitive men can make for great partners because they will be very devoted to you once they find solace in your company.

Tips To Deal With A Sensitive Man

Here are few tips on how to be an ideal partner for highly sensitive men:

Be the extrovert in your relationship

It’s quite common for sensitive men to be slightly on the reserved side especially when it comes to opening up with their emotions and feelings. So you will need to make up for this lack by being the one to initiate more communication in your relationship.

Sensitive men tend to ‘clam up’ when hurt

This is like dual edged sword, highly sensitive men get hurt quickly and then get into their shell or avoid talking about it. So you won’t even know if you actually did something to hurt them. The best way to judge if your boyfriend or husband is hurt is to look out for some anger or dullness in their voice when they talk to you. It would be up to you to initiate a truce.

Be willing to apologize if only to make him feel better

You might unconsciously behave in a manner that might hurt him, and this can get a little frequent because of his high sensitivity. You may find it a little “unreasonable” that he should get hurt for no reason, but the fact stays that he is hurt. Remember that he is sensitive and that’s his innate nature. The best thing is that a simple “sorry, did not mean to hurt you intentionally” is all it takes to get things sorted out.

Be patient

There are times when you might feel a little irritated by his sensitivity. It’s important to be patient during these times and just remind yourself of all the things you love about him, this keeps you from making things worse by spewing your anger. Patience and understanding are the keys to any successful relationship, a sensitive person might warrant more of it.

Allow for a few eccentricities

Highly sensitive people are bound to project their sensitivity in some manner in certain aspects of their life. They might have a deep love for animals or pets, they might believe in volunteering for service, they might be deeply attached to their work or certain principles like honesty. Of course this is just a part of their personality but certain aspects might look a little “extreme” to you and even work into your relationship. The best way to deal with it is to allow them their space.

Avoid being too dependent on him

If you are going to be with a highly sensitive man you will have to learn to be a source of support for him rather than a source of “dependence”. In other words be ready to handle your life without adding any undue burden of responsibility on him. This includes emotional and professional aspects. Sensitive people tend to “over think” into the problems of their close ones so it’s best to shield them from your troubles.

Be a good listener

If you want to make a success of your relationship it’s important that you be a good listener. Of course sensitive men are good at listening too but they also need a partner who is willing to be a patient listener. It can hurt him if he finds you disinterested in what he is saying.

Avoid arguments

Frankly it’s a good rule in life per se to keep away from arguments. No one wins an argument so why indulge in it. It’s quite common for highly sensitive men to hold certain views about the world some of which you may not agree with. It’s best to not argue with their view point. You may feel as if you are trying to make them understand but it never works that way. Most sensitive people just get offended if you counter their views.

Be the fun element in the relationship

All of us ultimately just want to be happy. If it’s in your capacity to bring joy and cheer into someone’s life it’s a gift. In fact deep within us, we all have this capacity it’s just that we are little frugal about it. Highly sensitive people are usually a little fearful of opening up to joy because they are afraid of facing the pain of losing the source of their happiness. So if you are with a sensitive guy just be his beacon of happiness and let him know that you will always be there for him.

In conclusion, we all have certain gaps in our life and we look towards our relationships to fulfill them. The beauty of any relationship lies in the unconditional acceptance and understanding of each other’s nature and personality. True love cannot blossom in the presence of resentment or complaining. Instead of wanting people to change, be the harbinger of love and you will be surprised how easily it gets reciprocated.

  • Navya

    I went through the tips which are completely true. I am amazed and even shocked to read this piece of information. It advised me a lot. I thank God that if I haven’t read this then I would have ruined his and my life as I was not able to understand him. Though I cooperated with him a lot still the problem was there in severe form. But now I have understood that I have to be more caring for him as he is very sensitive.

  • Patty Hines

    This is so true. I know a man who is very sensitive. He like me to be happy and cheerful, this brings out the best in him. If you are not patient, then don’t get involved with a sensitive guy. If you want someone you can be dependent on, he is not the one for you. But, if you treat this type of man with respect and admiration, building him up, then they will give you a lot of love. You have to be strong within yourself, know who you are and what you want. Otherwise, he will drive you crazy! Sensitive guys also seem to be a little shy, so at times you have to take the lead, but they don’t want you to be overbearing and controlling either. Remember, even though they are sensitive, they still think like a man.

    • Lol Li

      I don’t think it’s about being patient. It’s about being mindful.

      • Ann Nonymous

        this is spot on. I have learned a lot from being with my awesome, loving, sensitive bf. – It has made me be more aware of the need to be impeccable with my word, when I’m communicating with everyone, not just him. I am more positive and if what I am thinking of saying really does no good at all (and possibly harm), I let it go and move on. I have matured a lot, and YES it is worth it. High maintenance sometimes, challenging sometimes, but always worth it… 🙂

  • Bianca

    This advice was spot on. I had an arguement recently with my very sensitive fiance and it was about how I rudely answered my phone half way through a conversation he was having with me about an item in a shop. It sounds trivial but I suppose from his point of view, if that happened to me, I did think it was rude too. All he wanted me to do was listen to him and apologize for hurting him (even though I did think it was unreasonable for him to be hurt by it). However the fact is, he was hurt and I should have just apologized like the advice mentions and all would have been ok. Now it has gone out of hand and hasn’t spoken to me since last night. Anyway the point of my story is that this advice is very true and very helpful and I think I should stick it up on my fridge. 🙂

  • Tania

    My boyfriend is a combination. We are both over-sensitive and switch roles. Sometimes I am dependent and sometimes he is. The only thing that irritates me is not being able to play-fight because I don’t know how he is going to react. After getting out of the shower today he was stirring me up while I was brushing my teeth so I splashed him with cold water and he threw a tantrum like a little kid.

    But sometimes he will laugh and play back. I never know what to expect. I’d still rather be with him than someone who was cheating on me like my exes were. It’s just something I’ll have to get used to I guess.

    • Aa

      Yes, my boyfriend is also like that. So unpredictable. I do a certain thing just for fun, sometimes he’s okay about it and sometimes he’s not.

      And There are certain small issues that I would like to discuss to him but I would rather not tell him and forget about it because of him being sensitive and he might get mad. Sometimes he is ok to talk deep discussions and sometimes not. Sometimes he is expressive and sometimes not.

  • been there

    Avoid this guy. High maintenance and so not worth it.

  • Ann

    I like the advice and it was insightful but being in this sort of relationship, it is a lot of work and incredibly draining. Yes, all relationships require work but it honestly gets to point where you wonder if this is the type of relationship issue (or issues that arise from a sensitive partner) that one could deal with for the rest of your life. I only think it’s fair for women to read this to realize that this is how it’s always going to be and to take a serious look at what your life will always entail being with a sensitive man, it’s not going to change after time, and I myself genuinely wonder if this is something that is right for me.

    • Lol Li

      It is incredibly challenging. In a way, the overly sensitive nature seems so unnatural. I feel as if I’m walking on eggshells and don’t know what to say or what not to say due to the fragile ego and insecurities. A small argument morphs out of control. It gets to the point when it’s hard to be yourself. I don’t know if this is something I could live with for the rest of my life.

  • Joel E

    I am one of those highly sensitive guys and yes, it ruined my last relationship.

    The worst part is, I know I feel to much, but I can not control my feelings. Been called emo, gay and drama queen.
    So hard to explain that I can not control my own feelings.

  • Sha

    I have been with my husband for 14yrs and he is far more sensitive than i am. It is coming to the point of too many arguments that start with everyday communications and struggles that marriage couples go through…. but conversations get so thrown off when you have to address every sensitive issue along the way, you truly lose track of the bigger picture/problem! The constant reassuring and patience grows thin after many years of it. Especially when you were not raised with men with this type of personality. Sometimes i wonder how we’ve made it through as many years of this as we have! His many tears over what i consider grown up talks can just become too much sometime! You think as long as their happy it will change them but it wont! He gets frustrated with himself but that doesn’t change the reality of communication! Good Luck

  • KellyD

    I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. I recently have come to learn about HSP because my 7 year old way diagnoses as one. My husband and I are always on the verge of failure because we can not communicate. He does not cry, or show emotion in general like typical HSP are described but fits most other traits. I’m struggling very much with the idea of living this life for 50+ more years. Especially with the amount of energy I must invest each day into my HSC. (And extremely opposite other 2 kids). I’m drained, tired, and over it. I love him and I keep leaning on God for strength but I’m struggling.

  • Mya

    This article is a joke.

  • These things suggest one person is a winner and the other is a loser. Just give him space and try to occupy your time with something other than him. Do something for you. Don’t do it to try to get him to open up. Genuinely do something nice for yourself by giving space to your bf and keep in mind introverts need more alone time.