First it’s important to be clear about what a nice guy syndrome is, basically it’s an attitude some guys have which makes them behave in a manner intended to please people in order to seek their approval, love or regard. So they end up going out of their way to be nice to people out their need for approval.
Such an attitude ends up being a negative aspect in relationships, because girls are quick to spot a needy guy. Girls have a natural repulsiveness for any kinda approval seeking behavior especially in their intimate partner, whether a boyfriend or a husband. So guys who exhibit a “nice guy syndrome” have a difficult time maintaining intimate relationships.
Why Girls Distance Themselves From Nice Guys
As a girl, if you are with a guy who exhibits a high amount of nice guy syndrome, you are likely to start feeling less and less attracted to him to the extend that you might want to dump him. For one, he comes across as a guy who is not confident in himself and secondly, you can sense that his actions are usually in the direction of seeking your approval. So you subconsciously start distancing yourself from him.
But distancing yourself or breaking off is not the only option. As a girl you can actually help him out of his insecurities and get him more in touch with his natural inherent manliness. A man exhibiting a “nice guy syndrome” can have many qualities that most girls look for – they are caring, trust worthy, loyal and doting. The only problem is that they take lack assertiveness and a manly confidence, these factors are really important to many girls. So how can you help your guy develop these aspects in his personality?
Helping A Guy Overcome His Nice Guy Syndrome
Remember that he became a “nice guy” because of his conditioning or upbringing. May be he was bought up by a doting mother or a strict father, may be he was subject to a violent household or he was subjected to harsh criticism as a child. None of this is his fault really. His natural manliness becomes obscured due to his upbringing and is replaced by a docile exterior developed to please people.
You can easily help him regain his assertiveness and confidence. The prerequisite of course is that you should be a mature and understanding girl who is not very judgmental or overly critical. You can’t possibly help him unless you genuinely care for him. Don’t worry if your level of attraction for him is low, once he develops more assertiveness you are bound to feel more attracted to him.
How To Love A Nice Guy?
Here’s what you can do to help out a guy with a nice guy syndrome:
Help him feel more confident by appreciating him
Remember that he is continually seeking approval because he was subjected to a lot of criticism during his childhood. You can change his mind conditioning by appreciating him for every small thing you can think of. With time, he will regain confidence and will eventually stop exhibiting approval seeking behaviors.
Let him know your love is unconditional
He might have been brought up in a household where his parents withheld their love for the fear of spoiling him. Strict parents usually end up making this mistake. If he sees that your love is not conditional, he will develop a new level of trust in himself. He will stop being self-critical when he sees that you love him for what he is and not what he could or should be.
Encourage him to make more male friends
Most guys who exhibit a nice guy syndrome might lack an ideal role model in their life. When he makes friends with guys who are more in touch with their manliness, he is bound to discover his own true nature as a man. If you have friends or relatives who you think exhibit a manly behavior, you can introduce them to him so he can develop a better male friend circle.
Talk to him about the changes you desire to see in him
Most girls shy away from talking to a guy about their defects. They think that guys ought to know how to act like a man, of course that’s how it should be but sadly due to our feminist culture most guys are just way too confused about what is the right manly behavior. So as a girl you can tell the guy what it is that you desire in a man. Tell him that he will be more attractive if he develops his assertiveness and confidence. Don’t come across as being critical though.
It’s important to be conscious of the other person’s suffering. It’s easy to break off or distance yourself, but it takes character to help someone overcome a mental block or a personality defect. You will not regret the investment you make in a relationship where your partner believes in your unconditional love and support.
Have you dated a nice guy? Please let us know in the comments below.