The girl usually has to take the decision on when she would allow sex in the relationship. Guys are more than willing to have sex on the first date itself, so it’s up to the girl to make up her mind on when to go for it. It’s important that the decision is whole hearted and that you don’t give in to any pressure from the guy.
Some girls end up having sex with their guy just because she feels she should not “hurt” him. That’s a wrong notion because most guys are quite “okay” if the girl does not want to have sex, they just feel a little frustrated but that’s not really a bad thing. The guy is going to respect you when he realizes that you are a “no nonsense” girl when it comes to drawing a line on when the relationship can get intimate.
A relationship needs to be balanced and “resentment” free. If you feel that you have to give in to your boyfriend’s demands or pressure that would indicate that you are creating an “imbalance” in the relationship because you are being submissive, and that can get very unhealthy for you in the long run. If your boyfriend is acting too needy and petulant about having sex, it would indicate that there is a hollowness to the relationship you share with him – after all sex is but a small aspect of close relationship.
Tips To Consider
So what if your boyfriend is insisting on having sex, how do you convince him to wait? Here are few tips:
Let him know that you are not ready
You don’t have to be apologetic or timid about it, just let him know in no uncertain tone that you need some more time before you allow for such a level of intimacy. Tell him that having sex will take the relationship to a different level and you want to be sure that you are emotionally ready for it.
If there is even the slightest of resistance in you, it implies that deep down you are not sure or that your intuition is warning you against it. Pay heed to this intuition and stand firm by your decision.
Assure him that denial is not a reflection of a lack of love
Your boyfriend will question you if you are in love with him or not when you deny him sex. It’s quite a norm for guys to use the tool of “emotional” pressure, so he is bound to get a little cross with you and demand to know if the reason why you are denying sex is because you are unsure of the relationship. You will need to convince him quite sweetly that this is not the case and that the relationship means a lot to you.
You can tell your guy that you are waiting for the relationship to mature in terms of emotional bonding and closeness before you take it to the next level.
Get him to see this from your perspective
A girl might feel hesitant about engaging in sex early in the relationship because she feels that the guy might treat her differently once he gets physical with her. There are many instances when a guy’s attitude changes completely once he feels he has “scored” with the girl, this also leads to hollow relationships. Guys also tend to label a girl as an “easy” lay if she agrees to have sex within a few dates.
Let him know of the vulnerability you feel as a girl when it comes to opening out to physical intimacy. You can tell him in clearly that you want to feel more comfortable with him before you feel at ease about having sex.
Let him know that you are looking for a stable relationship
The problem with many relationships is that they are just too hollow because they lack emotional depth. Sex is interesting for a while and after that the only bond between the couple is the emotional closeness they share with each other. It’s difficult for a relationship to survive that does not have a strong foundation in an emotional connect.
Stable relationships are built over time when the couples get close to each other at the level of heart. Sex becomes a natural outcome of the emotional bonding. Let your boyfriend know that you are looking to have a serious and committed relationship with him, so you want to develop a deeper bonding before getting physical.
In conclusion, as a girl you need to be quite clear in your mind about how comfortable you are about getting physical with a guy especially when it’s still early days in the relationship. Sometimes it helps to be a “challenge” than be an “easy” conquest for the guy. Most guys do respect a girl who is clear about her boundaries; in the long run this respect will help the relationship stay stable.