8 Things I Find Attractive in a Woman (That have Nothing to Do With Appearance)

by: Patrick Banks

You know, I’ve been helping men improve their love lives for years now and I’ve probably read dozens of articles on what women find attractive in men. I’ve even written a few of them.

But the funny thing is that I rarely come across articles that touch on what men find attractive in a woman. Is the modern dating game so lopsided that it’s enough for a woman to just ‘show up’? Or do we men stumble merely at the sight of a nice head of hair or a shapely body?

I won’t deny the fact that this is true for a lot of men out there, but there’s a little more needed to really attract a man who isn’t impressed with mere “good looks”? Now I can’t speak for the entire population here, but here are eight things that I, personally, find incredibly attractive in a woman.

1. She has a sense of humor

I’ll be honest, one of the most important things in any relationship that I share with another person, romantic or otherwise, is the ability to have a great time and have a good laugh.

So while I never hold any significant other to a comic standard of say, Ellen Degeneres, I do love a woman who can live life one day at a time, take a joke and crack a few of her own.

2. She’s kind

Now this might sound like a bit of a cliché, but true kindness really is rare these days.

Sure you get people who are nice to those who hold some sort of value to them, but how many people do you meet every day that would go and talk to the lone stranger crying in the subway?

You see, I don’t want to be with a person that’s just nice to me, my friends and my family. I want a person who can brighten up my day by brightening up the lives of everyone she comes in contact with.

3. She gets along with my friends

A friend once told me that there’s an old Chinese saying that a man who has a wife who gets along with his friends will have a long and pleasant life.

Well, I have a feeling that my friend might be lying about there being an actual saying, but I have to say that it really is a beautiful thing to be with a woman who can get along with your buddies and just be “one of the guys” when she wants to.

4. She’s passionate about things

This might sound like a tall ask to some, but I’m a person who needs to be inspired constantly to be happy. And to me there’s no feeling in this world as attractive as being inspired by a woman who’s passionate about her pursuits in life.

You could be a world class pianist or you could be doctor, the minute I see your eyes light up while talking about what you want to achieve in life, I guarantee you I’ll be falling hard and fast.

5. She’s confident

I don’t know about you, but I like being around people who are happy to be themselves.

You see, it’s not just women who respond powerfully to a confident partner. I love being with a woman who stands up for herself and what she believes in; as long as it’s not an opinion against my sports team or favorite band. Ha!

Just kidding – I would never date a girl who didn’t love Iron Maiden.

6. She’s decisive

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t know what they want and can’t take responsibility for their own decisions. At the end of the day I’m willing to battle through a few arguments on where we should have dinner or which movie we should watch, as long as I know that I’m with a person who’s strong enough to be decisive.

7. She’s comfortable with her sexuality

Now there’s a lot to be said on what’s sexy and, more specifically, on what makes a woman sexy. But to me, what matters is not what a girl wears beneath the sheets or what she’s into; it’s that she’s comfortable with her own sexuality.

Romance is just so much more fun with a woman who knows what she’s into and isn’t abashed about it.

8. She has her own sense of style

So here’s the thing; we men are very much visual creatures. It’s just how we’re evolutionarily programmed. And something that I absolutely love in a woman is a unique sense of style.

I’ll admit that I tend to gravitate towards certain stereotypes – bohemian Goth with a fair share of body ink, in case you’re wondering – but I fall in love whenever I see a woman who has a sense of style that I don’t get to see on every street corner.





 
Patrick Banks is a freelance lifestyle writer and dating coach. He believes that with a proper attitude, a good understanding of the mechanisms that drive human interactions and new technologies, everyone can become personally and professionally successful.Connect with Patrick at his self-development blog - Wingman Magazine